How Are Your Friendships Doing?

Now the three words I use to describe my friendship are deep, happy, and sporadic. Except for the last descriptors, I feel good about those descriptors…

A month after delivering my 4-year-old daughter, Ella, my husband, Max and I moved from our hometown of San Jose to a small farming town. The new town had a refreshing slow pace and a safe neighborhood. wonderful Taqueria, and a home with mortgages that we can actually buy. The only catch? It’s an hour that feels like home from every woman in my life.

For the first two years, only one child was towing, so I didn’t see the 60 minute drive back to San Jose and grabbing lunch with the girls. But today, life is like that full. Ella goes to daycare with her new friends. Every month, you will find that more squares are blocked by family calendars for birthday parties and play dates. There was also my second baby, my super impossible little squish, Emiliano. Childcare adjustments for two Children with grandparents helping them see their kids on weekdays and finding a day in a month that is all available to busy friends.

The text for our group looks like this This meme.

So, at this stage in life, I’m doubleping two hangouts to keep my friendship cup full.

My first method is by random phone. Start by texting your friends five minutes before you have a pocket of free time and asking if they are in a quick chat. Sometimes I even get cold calls! Half the time, the stars are all together and we reach the gab. I have been doing this ritual once a week with my best friend Angela while walking around the neighborhood and working in the garden. During our call I learned her weekday meal (chopped Greek salad), her work anxiety (customs!), and why she couldn’t attend my grandmother’s birthday dinner (bad cold). Knowing these details of her daily life makes me feel very close to her. Sometimes our phone calls last for a glorious 30 minutes. Otherwise, it’s only 5. No matter the length of the call, I always feel revitalized.

My second hangout strategy is to accept a friend’s date and Children. Now I love nothing but quality one-on-one time with friends, but ever since it was a difficult schedule, I’ve wanted to watch with my kids. Thankfully, my friend who doesn’t have the child himself is open to that dynamic. So I invite them to a brunch spread at my house. Otherwise, you’ll be meeting up at a picnic in the park. Full disclosure: There are many interrupted conversations while running around after the kids. I remember the first few times we tried this method. I felt self-conscious about the number of times I said, “Wait a second!” When I jumped in to stop Ella from making a suspicious jump from the jungle gym. But I remembered: my friend was the woman who hugged me when I cried during my broken heart and stood by me when I said my wedding vows, and arranged for me for me after I had both children. They, of course, made them feel safe. want Even the thickness of my young children raising children to be with me. Who will close them from this new stage in my life?

Friendship is surprisingly difficult, and they fade, they flow. The way my friends and I spend time together is different from the way we did it in the past, but we are very grateful to find a new rhythm that works for us all.

I’m interested: how is your friendship now? Are you in the season when you can meet friends regularly? Do you feel you have been booked for work or personal obligations? Have you moved to a new location and started from scratch? I want to hear it.

PS 12 Great reader comments about friendship and 13 things with friends not dinner.