How to Plan a Dinner Party: My Best Tips to Simplify the Process | Wit & Delight

I love hosting people over for meals, and over time it has become second nature. I’ve noticed that friends and readers frequently ask me questions about the basics of hosting. I wanted to learn more, so I asked them what hosting topics they would like me to cover on Instagram. Time and time again, people have asked me how to host. Plan How to decide who to invite to a dinner party, especially among a group of friends who don’t know each other.

I know a lot of people have questions about how to host in the first place, so I wanted to give you some advice on how to plan a dinner party at home, including how to create a guest list, decide on a date, send out invitations, etc. While these first steps may sound simple, they often leave people feeling stuck and discouraged from taking on the hosting role.

I hope this post removes some of the barriers that prevent you from planning a dinner party (or brunch, or happy hour, or afternoon get-together). Connecting with the people in your life.

Want to know more about our hosting content? Lisa My husband and I are launching a fun series on Wit & Delight later this month where we’ll be detailing ways to host different types of gatherings at home. In each post, we’ll: all We’ll share all the information you need to know to make your hosting experience easier, including a timeline for the day before and the day, a detailed grocery list, and recipes for each menu item.

How to plan a dinner party in 3 easy steps

1. Create a guest list

Ask yourself some questions

Before you create your guest list, ask yourself a few questions. How many people can comfortably stay? This question takes into account constraints like the space in your home, the time in your schedule, the amount of money in your budget, etc. I almost always find it better to invite a smaller group (usually 2-4 people) instead of a larger one. I want to talk to everyone in my home.

Next ask yourself: What do you want to get from this opportunity? This question will help you narrow down what you want your get-together to be like and who you want to invite. The answer might be one of the following (or something entirely different):

• Build new relationships
• Strengthen existing relationships
• Socialize your friend group

Create a guest list

Here are some methods based on your answers to the questions above.

• If your goal is to build new relationships, consider inviting up to four people you’re not yet that close with.
• If your goal is to strengthen relationships you already have, consider inviting one or two of your closest friends.
• If your goal is to socialize among a group of friends, consider inviting about five people from different social circles who would enjoy getting to know each other.

Guest list example

To give you an idea of ​​what a variety of guest lists look like, here are some examples of gatherings I’ve hosted.

Host people from different friend groups.

My goal with these opportunities is to get my friends (and myself) out of their comfort zone and give them a chance to connect with people they might enjoy.

I try to only invite a maximum of five guests (six including myself) to these types of occasions. Any more than six people makes it difficult for everyone to have a chance to get to know each other. Six is ​​the perfect number for a group conversation. and Side conversation.

We are hosting two families from our children’s school.

My goal for this opportunity was to personally get to know some of the couples that Joe and I would be interacting with at the school.

To make it easier to connect with everyone attending, we kept the guest list to just two couples. Anything more than two couples might mean people talking in small groups instead of connecting with everyone.

As a group, we decided to include our kids in this dinner for the same reason: to give them a chance to get to know each other better. In this case, one family had an older sibling who acted as a “sitter” for the kids while we ate. We shared the cooking duties for the adult meals among the family and ordered pizza instead of forcing the kids to eat the same food as us.

Host one core group of friends.

My goal on these occasions is to interact with loved ones in a relaxed atmosphere.

I recently hosted a group of friends from college that I hadn’t seen in a while. I kept the guest list to four people (five including me), but I thought that was enough to ensure a proper reunion with everyone.

Invite one friend (or one couple) over for a quick meal.

My goal on these occasions is to truly reconnect with this person (or couple).

This is an example of hosting that I rely on often, but that I think people forget or overlook. It’s through these simple opportunities that I stay close with the core friends in my life. The meals are usually very simple, like a hearty soup or a hot pasta dish.

2. Set a date

Once you have your guest list, it’s time to pick a date. If you’re hosting a more lavish gathering, you usually choose a weekend. If you’re hosting a simple gathering, a weekday evening is a good choice.

You might pick one date that works for you and seems like it would work for the people you’re inviting. Or you might narrow down a few dates that work for you and then send your guests a short list of options so they can join when it’s convenient for them. If it’s a new group that you don’t host regularly, you’re more likely to send a few options. If it’s a group of close friends, you’re more likely to just pick a date.

Remember, as the host, you are in the driver’s seat. Don’t be afraid to make decisions! While there are times when you need to submit options rather than deciding for yourself, we feel that crowdsourcing preferences can be exhausting — part of the host’s role is to guide things not just on the day, but in the planning process as well.

3. Send invitations

How to send an invitation

My recommendation: Keep the invitation simple! I almost always send a simple text invitation, something like this:

• If the people you want to invite already know each other, you can usually send a group text.
• If you don’t know each other, text each person individually with the attendee list to let them know who else is coming. Once everyone has confirmed, merge the text thread to let everyone know the details. Because everyone’s already on the same text thread, new acquaintances can skip the step of exchanging phone numbers if they want to reunite after the party.
• If I were to host a larger, more fancier gathering (which is rare), I would consider an alternative method, like sending Paperless Post invitations by text. I’m not a huge email person when it comes to planning dinners.

I think it’s best to follow the method of communication you use most often with your friends – for me it’s text, if that’s email for you then by all means use it.

When to send invitations

As a general rule of thumb, the closer you are to your guests, the earlier you should send out the invitations. If I’m crowdsourcing the dates, I tend to send out invitation texts a little earlier than normal. Here are some general timelines I tend to follow:

• If you’re inviting people from a diverse group of friends, send out invitations 14-30 days in advance.
• If you’re inviting new friends, send out invitations 7-20 days in advance.
• If you’re inviting a core group of friends, send out invitations 3-14 days in advance.
• If you are inviting close friends or couples, send out invitations 3-14 days in advance, or even the morning of the event.

Invitation sample

In your invitation, include all the important details like the date, time, guest list (if it’s not a group text), and any special events you want your guests to know about. If you’re inviting guests you haven’t invited before, also ask if they have any dietary restrictions so you can plan or update the menu accordingly.

Here are some sample texts I sent:

• “Hi! I’m making lasagna right now. Want to come over tonight? Kids are welcome.”
• “We haven’t cooked together in a while, so let’s find a date that works for your group! I’m free in September. How about the week of September 12th? I’ll host.”
• “Lisa, Marlo, and I are doing a cookout together on August 6th. Can you come over to my house and join us?”
• “Hi! I’d like to invite you and your spouse to dinner sometime around August 16th, 17th, 24th-18th. Which of these dates work for you? Do you have kids? Either is fine!”

Do what works for you

My only advice when planning a dinner party is: you. I’m pretty casual, so texting and a short timeline works for me. If you’re a more formal person, make the invite however you feel most comfortable. Maybe you like to plan more in advance. If you’re Type A, crowdsource the date using Doodle and assign people something to bring. In these situations, people like to be told what to do.

When you’re dining at home and socializing with others, resist the temptation to dress up as Martha Stewart. The best invitations are those sent with the sincere intention of spending time together. Make every decision with this in mind and you won’t make a mistake.

If you liked this topic, check out these posts:

Cookbook Club 101: What it is and how to start your own

7 Tips for Hosting a Dinner Party that Everyone Will Enjoy

My 8 favorite cookbooks to cook from right now

6 entertainment essentials to make hosting a breeze