The advice to “feel your emotions” feels like non-advice at all. Of course, Sherlock. We’re all wired to feel emotions without thinking about them, just like we breathe, digest food, and pump blood through our veins. And it’s true. We ride the waves of emotion on autopilot because life can be overwhelming, and seeing what’s bubbling away beneath our subconscious can threaten the delicate balance of things.
unfortunately, Research suggests Decades of repressed emotions can manifest as a variety of physical and mental illnesses, from autoimmune diseases to high blood pressure to cancer. In my 20s, a therapist told me that if I didn’t manage my stress, my body would find a way to deal with it instead. In the future, I could choose to feel my emotions or face bigger, more debilitating problems.
At age 39, those words carried even more weight. My cholesterol was rising, I felt sluggish and lethargic, and worst of all, I felt like I was tied to my habits. I was too tired to give in through willpower. I no longer had the energy to fight or run away. And I had no idea where to release the pressure valve without ruining my life.
Processing my big emotions
In a way, I ruined part of my life. I “quit” Wit & Delight in its previous incarnation so as to avoid the shame of failure. In my most debilitating and disoriented moments, a little voice told me to “write.” If there’s one thing you can do today, it’s write.
Writing, through these essays and my morning journaling practice, helped me process things that felt unsolvable in my head. On paper, my problems seemed smaller. I saw places where I’d been lying to myself to avoid facing the truth. I saw places where I just needed to show love and compassion to parts of me that felt so scared. It was easier to stay in the dark, to hate myself, if I kept it all in my head. Putting words on paper helped me understand my pain, have compassion for my suffering, and see the connection my experiences made to other human beings, which in turn helped me accept that what I was feeling was true.
Whenever I had a deep reaction to something, whether it was joy, anger, jealousy, or disgust, I realized that we were feeling it because we cared. Whatever it was, it mattered to us. And I thought that was really beautiful. For the first time, I understood that my emotions weren’t something to be afraid of, but were signs guiding me home.
Whenever we have a deep reaction to something — joy, anger, jealousy, disgust — I realized that we are feeling those emotions because we care. . . . For the first time, I understood that my emotions weren’t something to be feared, but rather signs guiding me home.
When I look back at my old journals, I often find that I wrote the same things over and over again, resulting in me processing my thoughts without considering the sensations I was feeling in my body.
Today I’m writing about a more focused way of journaling that brings emotions to the forefront. I want to share what I learned with you all because it changed my perspective and my life, and it’s all because I listened to that bullshit “not advice” story and started writing my truth, not just what I could face.
If you’re looking for a new journal, try one of these:
An emotion-first approach to journaling
While many journaling practices focus on thoughts, I go beyond thoughts. Feeling I need release. I have often felt ashamed of my emotional reactions to events in my life, and that shame is what keeps these feelings bottled up. Journaling provides me with a safe place to express and process those feelings.
Starting with what’s going on in your body gives you access to information that your mind can’t. Whatever is causing your disturbing thoughts, processing the resulting emotions and letting them flow through you will ultimately help you move beyond it.
My journaling method for processing emotions
First answer the prompt. How am I feeling now? If you want to focus on a particular situation in your diary, respond to a prompt instead. How does my body feel when I think about the things that bother me?
And ask yourself: Where in your body are you feeling this sensation? Do you feel pressure in your chest? In your right shoulder? Under your collarbone? What does it feel like? Is it like a current? A lump? A sticky feeling? A tingling sensation? Describe the sensation completely physically. Assign attributes like weight, color, texture, smell, etc. There are no wrong answers.
Then answer the prompts. What is this emotion trying to tell me? What does it want me to know right now?
Give your emotions a voice. Let them speak without judgment. Once they have spoken, be grateful for what comes out. Be present with what they are trying to tell you. Don’t give them meaning, try to fix them, or push them away.
When you start by understanding what’s going on inside your body, you’ll have access to information that’s not available in your head.
Journaling takes practice
If this process feels overwhelming or you find it hard to release your emotions, remember this: Journaling takes practice. Over time, the benefits will become more and more pronounced. I recommend you tackle this process once a day for a week, preferably in the morning (or when you usually feel most alert). Throughout the week, when you notice any triggers, instead of pushing them away, write down the thoughts and feelings that come to mind. That way, you can return to them later when you journal.
At the very least, I hope you will consider that what you feel consciously is just the tip of the iceberg of what you experience unconsciously. Avoiding emotions is a form of control. It’s about clinging to what hurts. Because changing and letting go of what hurts you means stepping into an unknown part of yourself — an unknown future where you don’t know what’s going to happen. So be patient with yourself. It may seem like an easy thing to do, but most of us are conditioned to suppress the truth of our emotions. As a result, we block our incredible inner wisdom and our deeper connection to the world around us.
Kate is the founder of Wit & Delight. She is currently learning tennis and will forever be Testing the limits of her creativity. Follow her on Instagram Follow.
Source: – witanddelight.com
