If you haven’t subscribed yet, substackhere I get a little more personal — writing from the heart about self-care, motherhood, health, and everything in between. My community liked this post so I would like to share an excerpt here.
For two years, the first thing I did every morning was check the stats on my Oura ring. I lay there in the dark, reading my sleep stages like a bible. My HRV and Readiness scores told me how I should feel. If your numbers are good, you are given permission to feel good. If they weren’t, it would seem like they were already stressed out (according to the ring) and would end up in even more stress.
Because Andrew Huberman said it would spike cortisol, I followed a multi-step skin care routine, trained according to cycles, and spent the first part of the morning white-fingered without drinking coffee. By all standards, my health habits were well established. And I felt…energized (though frequently tired).
But what I didn’t feel was that it was free. alive. My body is home.
To be honest, I too have been quietly battling my own desires for years. Limiting what you eat in the name of health. (Let’s be real, again, in the name of fitting a certain size of jeans.) I left out the bread basket, not because I didn’t want it. Because I thought so shouldn’t I have it. There was a difference, and somewhere along the way I lost the plot.
I devoured self-help books and health podcasts because I knew deep down that something needed to change. I still didn’t know what it was.
Last summer, we were at our favorite beach in Malibu on a cloudy and slightly chilly day. It was a day where I had to negotiate with myself to see if it really counted as a beach day if I didn’t go in the ocean. Adam and the kids were already inside, but I sat on a towel in a sweatshirt with a book and was perfectly content to stay there.
“Mom, come in!!”
I continued reading, my mind half distracted by the nagging feeling of missing the moment. So finally, I took off my sweatshirt, which was already giving me goosebumps, and ran straight into the waves without thinking. The cold shocked me to the core. I dove straight under the waves and spent the next 20 minutes jumping, diving, and shaking with my family. For two years, I checked my Oura stats almost every morning and waited for them to tell me how I was feeling. Before getting out of bed, I checked my sleep, recovery, and stress levels. I was relieved that I got a good score. Unfortunately, it can fade throughout the day before it really starts.
From there, I went through a carefully tailored routine that included skin care, supplements, strategically timed coffees, and workouts that I chose depending on what my body seemed to be doing. I’ve taken in enough wellness content to know exactly what to eat, when to exercise, and how to improve almost every part of myself.
By most standards, I was doing everything right.
But I didn’t feel energized or deeply connected to my life. For the most part, I always felt like I was in control.
The same idea permeated food. I learned to ignore certain desires, communicate what I really want, and call it discipline. I looked healthy on the outside, but deep down, I no longer trusted my body without rules, metrics, or consulting experts.
That afternoon, one thing came into focus. Maybe health isn’t about controlling every variable. Perhaps it was meant to allow us to participate more fully in our own lives.
Since then, I have been conducting an experiment. a slower way of life. Slow living, not as a different aesthetic or set of rules, but as a mindful practice: sleeping when I need to sleep, moving in a way that makes me feel energized, eating what truly satisfies me, and questioning how much input I actually need. I’m still interested in taking care of myself, but I’m less interested in turning that care into another self-improvement project.
For me, unplugged Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean you should give up technology completely. It means creating enough space to listen to your thoughts again and returning to a state of simplicity. summer ritual There are things that make me feel more present: drinking coffee outside, swimming without checking the time, having a long dinner, taking an evening walk without my phone.
As summer draws to a close, I’m thinking about what it means to make the most of the season without putting too much pressure on myself. Less optimization. Be more aware. I have more moments where I feel present, connected, and fully alive.
In the full post, we share:
- Health rules I stopped following and what changed when I started following them
- What happened when I stopped restricting my diet and trusted my desires?
- A simple skin care routine gave me better results
- How I made movement feel empowering, not obligatory.
- Supplements I actually take and supplements I stopped buying
Unlock entire post With Substack – Get a summer ritual that helps you live a more fulfilling life in exchange for continuous optimization.
Source: Camille Styles – camillestyles.com
