The Silence Around Being Gay Almost Cost My Life

From now on, when someone tells you that you shouldn’t say gay (and trans, lesbian, bisexual, queer, and all the other words they’re afraid of), just say it. Say it louder and more often than you would otherwise. Tell that to your elected officials. Tell yourself that when you vote for your elected representative. Tell that to your kids. Say it whenever you can, especially if they say you shouldn’t or can’t. Tell them you can do it. Tell them you will. Please tell me you won’t do it.

Tell them that we have heard this story before and that it will not end the way they thought or wanted it to end, we will not allow it.

Tell them the story you heard a few decades ago about this kid in Wisconsin who wanted to die because he was made to believe he was a sin, a slander, a disaster, unworthy of anything resembling goodness or grace or a single day without the deepest despair.

And tell them how he lived. Tell them how alive he is in this moment, despite all the silence, sadness and fear he was immersed in.

Tell them he is finally happy almost every day, but it took too many years and too many tears to get to this point.

It may sound like a miracle, but tell them there are no miracles, only truth.

Tell them the truth. We have gone too far and there is no going back.

Note: This was written by me piece Four years ago, when Florida enacted the nation’s first “Don’t Say I’m Gay” law, HuffPost decided to bring it back to the public during Pride Month in June 2026. Since I first shared this piece, Hundreds more anti-LGBTQ bills Many of the hundreds of bills introduced in Congresses across the United States have been approved and signed into law. Countless LGBTQ Books It was banned and removed from library shelves. Funding queer organizations Life-saving jobs have been cut. While 2022 and beyond have unleashed new and unthinkable traumas and tragedies on the queer community, one thing has not changed. That means no matter what happens, we will keep fighting back. Because we refuse to be erased. Because we’ve been here before and we know the only way forward is to stand our ground. Because we have seen that when we stand together against those who seek to harm us, we prevail. When we tell our stories, to each other, to ourselves, and to those who will listen, we root ourselves here and create the possibility for others to do the same until they feel safe and ready to share their stories. Much of what I wrote in this article is still true, but queer people have been around since time immemorial and we are not going anywhere.

Noah Michaelson is the head of HuffPost Personal. “D is for desire” HuffPost’s love and sex podcast. He joined HuffPost in 2011 to launch and oversee Queer Voices, the site’s first dedicated queer issues division, then oversaw all of HuffPost’s community sections before pivoting to creating and running HuffPost Personal in 2018. He holds a master’s degree in poetry from New York University and has been a commentator for MSNBC, BBC, Entertainment Tonight, Current TV, Hughes, SiriusXM, and Huffington Post. Live. You can find out more from him Instagram.

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