Shots fired at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Unclosed Media published this article on April 23rd.

Written by Sophie Holland | When I was 13, I remember looking in the mirror in a bathroom in Toronto and thinking, “Oh, I’m a lesbian.” At the time, I thought it was a dirty word. Looking back, I think the first time I heard that word was when my family said to me, “I don’t know what a lesbian is. You look like an alien.”

And even though I walked around wearing camo Crocs with rainbow My Little Pony charms, plaid knee-length shorts, and shark tooth necklaces (all of which are typical lesbian attire in my opinion!), I never felt like I was fitting the mold. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt, so I kept my feelings deep inside.

I’m 25 years old now, and I’ve been out of work since I was 22. Three years ago, I never could have imagined that I would be working for a queer news publication and celebrating like this. lesbian visibility weekan annual event aimed at honoring and uplifting lesbian perspectives and highlighting the challenges facing our community. LVW is very important to me. Because, frankly, LVW was a total crap show until I got here to a place where I felt love and joy.

I remember being annoyed when people always asked me, “Do you have a boyfriend?” No matter if you watch a princess movie or see a damaged girl, she only realizes herself when her prince charming arrives. I remember always listening to music about heterosexual relationships. In high school, I remember feeling left out as all of my friends kept having boyfriends.

I tried boyfriend and tried really hard for it to take a huge toll on my health. I brainwashed myself into thinking I was probably bisexual, and I told my best friend about it when I was 16, and then my parents, who were my age, but I failed. I was probably subconsciously using this as a litmus test for their acceptance and to ease any insecurities I felt about my sexuality.

Learning to love myself wasn’t just about unpacking internalized lesbian phobia and dissecting oppressive social messages of heteronormativity. It was born out of meeting an amazing lesbian and queer community. I found people who understood my worldview and who could show me the ropes. I no longer had to balk at concepts like lesbian loneliness or frustration with misogynistic straight men.

They all got it.

Without this community, I don’t know if I would be as warm and confident as I am now.

And I still experience homophobia, like being spat at while walking with an ex-girlfriend in downtown Toronto, or having a stranger yell in my face, “Are you a lesbian?” At Kensington Market, joy and love still outweigh the unpleasantness.

So, being a sentimental dyke, I decided to ask the lesbians around me, not just my friends, but Unclosed staff, board members, and followers, if they could share at least a little bit about what makes them love being lesbians. And now I can share it with you. here it is. Congratulations LVW!

Timi Sottile

Falling in love with her was a reset. I felt like a kid again and had hope for the future. We had to overcome many obstacles to be together, but I would choose her in any life. When we met I was suffering from a long term health condition and spending time with Sophia really helped me recover after surgery.

Bella Sayegh

Being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things in the world. Being your authentic self in resistance and joy is something very special within the lesbian community.

parker wales

When I met Liv, I finally understood why almost every song is about love.

Gillian Kilgour

There is no more perfect connection than lesbians, and no one sees me the way lesbians do.

china price

There are so many things I love about being a lesbian. But my top three are:

1. You will have a deeper understanding when it comes to being loved by another woman.
2. Next would be lesbianism expressing a sense of community, especially POC masculinity. I don’t feel like I’m cosplaying someone like I used to before I came out.
3. There’s so much history about how we found love and fought for it, dating back to the 1800s. That fight makes me proud because it means we… [found] A way to express our love, even if it is misunderstood, illegal, and considered crazy.

Hope Pisoni

Before I knew I was a lesbian, relationships felt suffocating. I felt like everyone was expecting me to play their part, acting out the finer points of heterosexuality. But by meeting my spouse and discovering each other’s identities together, I realized how freeing it is to love without a script to follow.

Leital Morad

It was a joy to watch the New York Sirens defeat the Toronto Scepters in the first ever women’s professional hockey game, surrounded by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of cheering lesbians.

Angela Earl

I have spent years building a life that feels right. But I could never settle down and eventually started asking what would make me happy. Coming out was about letting go of everything I had been told I was supposed to be, more than just the person I loved. These past few years have felt like coming home to a life that was waiting for me.

Tali Bray

What I love about being a lesbian is what I love about being in love. It’s a feeling of surprise and joy that makes you think, “Oh, this is what it’s like.” I love traveling the world with women.

Izzy Stokes

I didn’t fall in love until I realized being queer was an option. My queer friends helped me see so much more than I did when I was growing up. We are so proud of us and so grateful to the lesbian community.

Nandika Chatterjee

When I met my fiancé is when I started to feel the most like myself. It meant loving myself for who I am and accepting my identity as a lesbian. I felt free in a way I had never felt before. It has its pros and cons.

Liz Lucking

The love and joy of being a lesbian is that you get to live the life you dreamed of but never thought you would achieve.

reflection

Reading these beautiful entries reminds me that we still live in a world where lesbians are likely to face more challenges. childbirth problems, fetishizationand forced heterosexuality — Not to mention the pressure of crossing racism From within and outside of the queer community. According to some, that’s part of the reason. 2024 survey22 percent of LGBTQ women have attempted suicide and 66 percent have sought treatment for trauma.

So if you’re a lesbian who isn’t out or doesn’t feel safe, I hope you read this and glean hope from these messages. So when we look in the mirror, we know it’s okay to be free from the weight of the heteronormative world (which can feel so heavy).

We still have a long fight ahead of us until all lesbians feel safe to be themselves, but this community will not back down from the toughness, the joy, the noise, and everything else it takes to start a small revolution.

Oh yeah, lesbians! Now for you.

*I sign off with my cat on my lap and a Pride flag above my head.