Your wedding vow is one of the most personal and powerful parts of your celebration. They are not just words, they are promises. For many LGBTQ+ couples, traditional vows do not reflect our love stories, identity, or the lives we have built outside the line. What do you guess? It’s just not okay – it’s beautiful.
If you want to make a genuine, inclusive, and deeply meaningful vow, this guide is for you. Whether you’re poetic, playful, emotional or profane, the way you write your vows is not wrong. you.
A vow that reflects you, not a tradition
Let’s make it real. Not everyone wants to say “love, honor, obey.” For LGBTQ+ couples, especially couples who navigate a world where there is no always room for love, vows are a powerful self-defining moment. It’s your chance to tell the truth about you in your words.
More and more couples are dumping outdated scripts in favor of vows that reflect who they are, what they have overcome, and the future they are building together.
💬 “I always vowed to warm her feet in the winter and fight for our strange joys every day.”
– Sam (they/her)
Ask these questions before you start writing
Pause to reflect before sitting with blank pages and racing hearts. Your vow is a love letter to your partner. Here are some questions to inspire your thoughts:
- What does commitment mean? We?
- How did our relationship change me for the better?
- What is one memory I would never want to forget?
- How would you like to show up for you in the next few years?
- Do I admire you the most?
You don’t need to answer all of them – let your thoughts flow and see what rises to the surface.
Tips for writing vows you feel faithful to you
Writing your vows may feel intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are some grounding tips to help you write with love rather than love:
- be yourself. Tell us how you speak naturally. The vow doesn’t have to sound as powerful as Shakespeare.
- Include the story. The moment you change you, when your partner appears for you, or share something unique Two.
- I feel your feelings. Even all of the above is okay to be funny, sentimental, romantic and nasty.
- Discard the gender script. Use a language that affirms your identity and your relationship. Your vows do not have to follow a form that has never been constructed for you.
Agree with the tone (without matching exactly)
You and your partner don’t need to write a matching pledge, but it helps you talk about tone and length in advance. Do you go romantic, light or deeply emotional? Would you like to read it personally during the ceremony or in advance?
Setting expectations together prevents one person from giving a short casual speech, while the other person offers a magnificent poem of tears. (If that’s not your vibe, then continue.)
Comprehensive Pledge Examples and Prompts
Need language inspiration? Here are some positive, non-traditional vow starters and ideas:
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“I promise to be your safe place and your soft landing.”
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“I vow to continue to learn how to love you the way you need.”
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“I promise to respect your identity, your journey and your truth.”
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“Even when the world doesn’t understand it, I celebrate our joy.”
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“I vow to create our home where love wins.”
These aren’t perfect for all sizes. You can freely adapt and personalize what you talk to.
📝 Tip: For trans and non-binary people, consider using names instead of pronouns or affirming their identity with your vows (“I love all versions of you, and I always do”).
Strange tools and inspirational sources
Sometimes it helps to have a little structure. These tools and sources will help inspire your creativity:
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Journaling prompt – Start a pledge journal and write down your favorite memories, shared goals, or anything you admire about your partner.
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Apps like source and voice – These services provide a useful pledge framework.
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Read the poems of love and strange literature – Inspiration is everywhere!
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LGBTQ+ Wedding Blog – Like this! Examples of real vows from other couples can be very helpful.
How to practice (without feeling persistent)
Are you worried about reading your vows without choking or nervously laughing? This is how you can be more comfortable:
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I’ll practice loudly– To yourself, your dog, or a trusted friend.
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Print or write it down– Bonus points for cute vow booklets you can hold.
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Give yourself grace. This is a big moment. Tears, laughter, and unsettling voices are all perfect.
There are no rules. It’s just love
At the end of the day, your vows need not be moved by anyone. They are for you and your partner. Write the real thing. Please speak with the heart. And remember: love deserves to be celebrated exactly as it is in its strange and illustrious form.
You don’t just write vows – you’re writing your story. And the story is already extraordinary.
Top Photo: I take a photo, as well as Wednesday’s priority vendor
Source: Equally Wed – LGBTQ+ Wedding Magazine and Wedding Vendor Directory – equallywed.com
