As you get older, your mind does some interesting calculations. When I think about how quickly the past 20 years have passed, I can’t help but feel nauseous. A few months before my 40th birthday last year, I continued to do the following calculations.
If the next 20 years go as fast as the past, I’ll be 60 years old already, which means I’m already 80 years old.
Time x speed = lifespan
I felt like a life-sized version of the new millennial midlife crisis.
To my horror, I continued writing despite my disorientation. I felt like a woman walking the plank. Everyone told me that life was just beginning, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was slipping through my fingers every day, and I was powerless to stop it. It was.
As my sense of self cracked around me, I saw the lie come to light.
We were told that we could be anything we wanted.
But your options are endless and your time is limited.
It’s never enough.
Faced with what mathematics revealed about myself and the truths of time and speed, I realized that my crisis was telling me how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. So I put on my big girl pants, turned to the secret I had tucked neatly under my pillow at night, and brought it into the light.
Then a new truth appeared to replace the lie.
You have everything you need within yourself.
you are complete you are enough
I wasn’t despairing of becoming unknown. I was craving the experiences I had been denying myself. Life wasn’t about surviving and becoming something. It was about being whole and feeling human. create space for joydesire, joy, fun, connection, love, and wonder.
Life was just beginning and I was learning to slow down and enjoy it.
When life accelerates, we seek slowness
My life is accelerating while I’m being asked to slow down. There has never been a busier season in my life than now. My kids are blossoming into themselves, and with that comes more friends, hobbies, sports, and memories to make as a family. Joe is stepping into a season in his career where he wants to test his limits, grow into himself, and see what’s possible when he harnesses his talents.
And me. I realized today that I am full of energy to pour into the world.
What do people do when the fullness of life threatens to wipe out their ability to enjoy life itself?
I’ve made progress so far slow down Every day, even when everything is swirling around me. We started with just small adjustments. Today I’m writing about why slowing down is so important to me and how I practice slowing down during this busy season of my life.
Why slowing down is important to me
I’m tired. That was one of the big secrets I hid under my pillow. Life is so busy that I don’t have the energy to hype myself up and be a cheerleader anymore. But what I can do is slow down enough to notice when I need a break.
The dichotomy between having tired bones and having a new sense of purpose in life is an interesting one. It’s like learning how to tame a new breed of beast that responds to kindness rather than control like a domineering alpha. Life is busy, so getting things done is important, and so is having fun. So what does the balance look like? How can you slow down during a busy time in your life?
No system is perfect. But I have no desire to “catch up” or get back in the mood. pervasive sense of scarcity. Instead, I have a values-based approach, a drive to continue practicing these habits, and a lot of forgiveness for myself. Because I’m tired. And I’m alive.
How to Slow Down: 7 Ways to Slow Down During Life’s Busy Seasons
1. Attune to physical cues.
I realized that when I rush through life, my pace is reflected through my body’s physical cues. Here are some examples:
- clenched jaw
- Breathing is short and shallow, and breathing deeply feels unnatural.
- Grip the steering wheel firmly while driving
- round your shoulders while sitting
- be clumsy and drop things
The most important thing for me when practicing slowing is to notice these physical reactions and gently redirect them. I relax my jaw, take a few slow, deep breaths, loosen my grip on the steering wheel, relax my shoulders and sit up straight. Please note that your physical response to busyness may be different than mine. Focus on what they are for you and slowly begin to pivot.
2. Monotasking.
Throughout my life, I have tended to multitask. At some point last month, I was making flan, writing invitations, and texting people at the same time. If you rush through life and do multiple things at once, you’ll feel more stressed and more likely to make mistakes.
Now, when I notice I’m multitasking, I try to redirect. I pause, choose one thing to focus on, and then move on to the next thing.
3. Lower your expectations.
Even though I’ve made slowing down a priority, I still sometimes feel like I have to be able to live up to the same expectations I had when I was rushing through life. If you think about it logically, you’ll see that it’s impossible.
I haven’t yet perfected the art of setting expectations, but I’m trying to be more honest with myself. I try to show the people in my life that it is possible. When I can’t get everything done, I try not to stress about it. Because, let’s be honest, most of the things we feel pressured to do are okay to wait. In most cases you can wait.
As I wrote in Recent house call posts“When you can’t rush everything, you need to do less. Less to do means you need to know what’s important.” Connect the dots.
4. Focus on what matters most.
There are still many things that need to be done every day, both at work and in my personal life. I have a tendency to procrastinate when I’m feeling anxious, which only leads to future stress and impatience. I am doing everything I can to change this trend. Rather than avoid it, I’m learning to resist the urge to procrastinate and the discomfort of doing something difficult.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, I find it helpful to accomplish one small, easy task first. This small accomplishment gives you a little boost of dopamine that gives you momentum and allows you to do something else. Then move on to bigger, higher priority tasks and give yourself enough time (more than you think you need) to complete them. You’re taking care of yourself now and in the future by giving yourself the time and space to complete the important things, rather than avoiding them altogether.
5. Remove the filler.
If you have extra time, you can take it easy in your daily life. By spending less time on distractions, like replying to every text message or scrolling through your phone, it becomes practical to slow down the pace of your life.
I’ve also become more ruthless with myself about what I actually consume and enjoy. Choose to sit quietly rather than listen to a podcast. I’ve found that most TV shows on Netflix aren’t worth my time.
But this is what you want. No one will tell you what you like.
Therefore, choose what pleases you. If binging reality TV is a distraction, then make it a priority. If you feel yourself getting distracted, let it go. Only you can be honest with yourself about what grabs your precious attention. Wield it as if it were your own.
6. Please accept my humanity.
Accepting your humanity is an important step in giving yourself the grace to slow down. The last couple of weeks I’ve made more mistakes than usual, all of which have affected my pride and family. And that jolted me into reality.
I can blame myself for my mistakes, but it doesn’t make me special, hurtful, or different from others.
A mess—a lot-It’s part of life. It’s something we all share.
It’s also one of the best ways to connect with people. In the absence of perfection or optimization, we have the opportunity to discover what it means to be human. We tend to believe that if we open up about our lived experiences, we will be rejected, but this is often not the case.
Yes, people are the ones to judge. And honestly, there’s no better way to know who you need to exclude from your inner circle. However, there are many people (who you probably want to keep close) who will feel noticed and validated through your mistakes. By slowing down, I was able to break the cycle of self-shaming and created an opportunity to deepen my relationships.
7. Set interpersonal boundaries.
Slowing down sometimes requires saying “no.” One of the ways I have had to set boundaries during this season of my life is by saying no to traveling during the holidays. This is unpleasant. i don’t like it. But when we are honest with others about our limitations, we are being kind. We are saying this. I want to be with you *when* I can. Not as an addition, add-on, or obligation. No one wants that.
Setting boundaries with those closest to us can be difficult and uncomfortable. But if you answer yes to everything, you are giving up the truth of your experience. We think this is a selfless act, but in doing so we don’t allow those who love us to support us the way we need them to support us.
Time is a funny thing. It’s scary to slow down when life speeds up. That is until you realize there is more life to live, to be there and experience it fully.
Kate is the founder of Wit & Delight. She is currently learning how to play tennis so forever testing the limits of her creativity. Follow her on Instagram @witanddelight_.
Source: – witanddelight.com
