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Sex is never about sex. Whether we have sex or not, our sexual selves are a barometer of how we feel. If we are at the top of the world, that confidence will affect our eroticism and joy. The same can be said when we collapse, feel stressed, tired, sad, excited, anxious, or happy. We express the deeper DNA of current emotions between sheets. The same can be said when you want to feel like it. There is no magic switch. It’s a deeper, longer game.
Over the past few years I have been fascinated by the sex that comes with joy and intimacy. Over time I realized that it was much more subtle than what I was taught earlier. (To be honest, there wasn’t that much. Maybe you can relate.) Most of my education came much later. At the time, I thought sex was simple mathematics. I also believed there was no need to explore what actually made me feel.
Oops, I was wrong. Many sexual wellness experts I interviewed throughout my career told me that sexual excitement, joy and eroticism were not implicit. They are not just happen. Getting on and having great sex is unique for each of us.
Special images by Michelle Nash.
How to feel
So, what is the magic bullet? there is no. However, there are practices you can do to warm up to your sexual pleasure ideas. Honestly, when you get into the mood, you feel better about your body, mind and soul. It gives us a physiological and emotional component to lead to desire, which can lead to physical awakening.
Here are 11 ways to improve your connection with your partner and let your juice flow. Don’t forget to proceed easily on your own and improve your perception. When turned on, you can come from the most predicted locations you expect. Take it from therapist and author Cindy Darnell Sex when you don’t feel that way. “Activities based on pleasure may or may not be explicitly sexual,” she writes. “In other words, joy comes from many activities and aspects of life that can inspire desire and eroticism.”
11 Practices to Encourage 11 Connections and Deepered Want
Before diving into these practices, let’s discuss one important fact. These are not quick fixes that will help you move from scratch to 100 minutes. These suggestions are to awaken and nourish your emotions and body, and promote deeper awareness. Doing this will help you reveal your sexual values and desires. It is a turn-on in itself.
Note: These practices can be performed individually or with a partner.
I’m going for a walk
Preferably in nature. This activity may not sound sexy, but it is grounded and deeply sensual. Decades of research have shown that forest bathing can significantly reduce stress hormones (stress is a mood killer). So walk. Touch the tree. Please remove your shoes. Wandering through your heart. Think about sex if you want to. Otherwise, feel free to move your thoughts. You can create a way to reconnect this exercise with yourself, which can lead to a sexier mood.
Take a few minutes of breathing
Breathing utilizes the power of our breathing to bring clarity and positivity to ourselves. It also helps with imagination. It’s incredible to feel like it. You can start by being comfortable and simply taking a purposeful, slow breath that comes out of your mouth through your nose. For more specific directions, see this breathing work practice. The key is to slow down and concentrate on one thing.
Take a long “all” shower
Your Favorite Shampoos, Body Scrubs, Body Wash, Hair Masks – Grab all the things you love and put them in the shower for a full-scale self-care treatment. Start by removing the scalp and work all the way to the toes. Be intentional and sensually touch your body when you do this, thanking it for its beauty and hard work. These extra minutes of scrubs, masking and relaxation help in circulation and stimulate the pleasant hormone serotonin. (To save resources, turn off the water between stairs.) More tips to perfect your shower routine aesthetic.
Read sexy novels
The text doesn’t have to be perfect, nor does it need a plot. Grab adult novels (50 shades of grey (I always do that) and read some sentences openly and wonder. Please don’t judge. Pause the current moment and enjoy what’s going on on the page. (If you’re looking for it, consider reading a few pages aloud to your sexual partner.)
Apply warm, intimate oil
My friend handed me a bottle Foria’s intimate awakening oil A few years ago, my world exploded. A blend of plant-based aphrodisiacs gives a sense of warming to the vulva, labia and inside the vagina, promoting pleasure and blood flow. As Kiana Reeves later told me in an interview, Foria “prioritizes women’s joy by understanding what activates it, what it continues to do, and where joy comes from,” she says. I apply mine to flush my juices in the morning or sometimes before a walk. It is an incredible reminder of what our bodies can do.
Journal Fantasy
Grab your pen and notebook (or laptop), find a quiet, safe place and stay. Take a few deep breaths and then start explaining your sexual fantasy. Write this with the idea that no one will read this (no one needs to read it, so that’s your choice!).
Sensual text
Often, the most important topical murder is what you think is not in your partner’s mind, especially when they are with yours. Of course, our days are getting busy and our work keeps track of us. Still, no one is a mind leader. Sens sensual texts to encourage connection. You don’t have to be overtly sexy. Even if there is a small mystery, he is just warm and affectionate. You’re having the best kiss… I’m thinking of you. It’s fun to send and receive.
Put something on…
It makes you feel stand out. It doesn’t have to be lingerie or classically “sexy.” As long as the materials and fit respect your body, it can become a silk blouse or wool pants. When you look good, you feel better. And when you feel good? Now, all the good things start to flow.
Listen to the Sexual Wellness Podcast
The value of gathering some advice is unparalleled, even if such advice comes from media sources. Many incredible podcasts offer wisdom and honest commitment to deepening sexual pleasure, finding meaning on the sheets, and deepening what’s more enjoyable. Even taking a few minutes to listen can be transformed. I stole this great idea from Kelly. Her podcast, Sex with Emilysexy, insightful and inspiring.
Kiss – Slowly and for a long time
The science behind the kiss is fascinating. Research shows that it contains saliva testosteroneplays a role in intimacy and enhancing our sexual desires. And the longer we kiss, the more testosterone we release. So this asks for an invitation to kiss, even when you’re not feeling well or you’re not going to have sex. Kiss slowly and enthusiastically and take over the magic of your hormones. Trust me, this always works like a charm.
This post was last updated on June 29, 2025 to include new insights.
Source: Camille Styles – camillestyles.com
