When I got to the pool, I had a conversation with myself: “How can I sit naked on a lounge chair without looking or feeling like I’m visiting the gynecologist?” However, I quickly resolved that by stretching my legs along the length of the chair and crossing one leg over the other. I felt a strange sense of comfort.
The feeling of being not only calm but also satisfied never left me throughout my time at the resort. It wasn’t just a matter of summoning up my inner mantra of “I got it, girl” (though those mini pep talks certainly helped), it was also a matter of the people around me It was the people.
Other guests and resort staff were friendly and always asked my name and why I was here. When I told people I was a lesbian and in a monogamous relationship, they not only listened, they listened to me. One couple offered to take me under their wing, show me around, and introduce me to their friends. I wondered for a moment if it was just a sneaky way to see if I would be swayed out of monogamy, but I was glad to learn that it wasn’t. Not in the slightest.
They showed me the “playroom” and warned me that if I went there alone, my willingness to play would easily be misinterpreted. They told me I might as well skip the foam party on Thursday night. Because at my height, which is 5 feet tall, I’m almost completely below the form line and that’s where things get “interesting.” These are two locations within the resort that, while not equivalent to giving consent, mean you are likely interested in at least consenting to some sexual play.
They also advised me to stay away from the hot tub at night. It was another place where one’s very presence was perceived as at least interesting. The resort didn’t specifically mention any agreements or rules, but they assured me that I always felt safe and comfortable and that if I didn’t, all I had to do was let someone know.
But that was never necessary. Even when I went to my room alone and naked at night, I never felt uncomfortable. It was as if no one wanted to spoil the good things we had done there. It was clear that if consent wasn’t the name of the game, there was no way this game would exist. It was the complete opposite of almost every straight club I’ve ever been to. It wasn’t an “anything goes” atmosphere – in fact, I think our guests liked that rule. We all knew our position and pushing someone after being told no is unacceptable. I’ve never been so keenly aware that “no” really means “no”, that it means a period, and I loved it.
In fact, the only time I’ve ever witnessed something bad was when I saw a man making advances on a woman who had already said no. Other guests nearby at the pool came to her aid and told staff about his behavior, so he was sent packing. There was no room for a bad apple in that bunch.
During our stay, we learned more about the swinger lifestyle. It turns out that couples have their own rules, which they share with others interested in sexual relationships. Some couples stay together when playing. Other pairs split up and each partner plays alone with another person or couple. Some couples agree not to have penetrative sex with other people, but accept everything else. For some people, kissing is prohibited. But the one rule everyone seemed to follow was communication, communication, communication. you ask. Please listen. I respect you. that’s it. The throughline of the week was honest and consensual, and it was a beautiful thing to witness, even if I didn’t personally participate in that kind of fun.
I wish the whole world worked like that.
I quickly became known as the “funny lesbian” and loved to brag about my stories of researching the female orgasm in masturbation workshops and passing through airport security with a suitcase full of vibrators. I was often surrounded by guests. I couldn’t stop laughing the night we all got dressed and left the dining room to take our clothes down to our rooms so we could eat pizza on the bare side of the property. At that moment, taking off my clothes and eating something late at night in front of strangers was as natural as meeting up for drinks at a bar.
The resort offered different activities each night with a different theme. Tuesday, for example, was a “naked and glowy” pool party where everyone was decked out in all kinds of glitter, flashing, flashing accessories. Wednesday night was “Fetish Night,” where everyone dressed up in outrageous costumes, including leather, lingerie, and fetish gear. No clothing seemed to be prohibited.
Other guests also came from all walks of life. I also met the president and the craftsmen. When it comes to sexuality, many women identify as bisexual. I have never met a man who identifies as anything other than straight. Of course, like many people I talked to, I didn’t talk to everyone. So no one knows. During my vacation, there were many people in their 20s as it was “Young Swingers Week,” but the overall customer base at the resort was a little older, and there were still many people in their 40s and 50s. I was listening. There. I met a lot of people from Canada, Europe, and even the United States.
Source: BuzzFeed – LGBTQ – www.buzzfeed.com
