When navigating uncharted waters, we are guided forward only by our instincts, but future parents are basically not doing that in most respects, right? There is no book with that title on Amazon. gay dad, straight mom or When your gay best friend becomes your baby’s daddyThere were a lot of issues to resolve, from legal issues to financial issues, but to us they were just details. As a “couple,” we felt we were in a distinctly advantageous position and said, “Heidi and I are not in a better position than many others who have conceived without the benefit of 20 years of friendship.” ” I remember thinking. ”In our hearts we knew we were doing the right thing and in our hearts we were already mom and dad. So we started trying to conceive, hiding our plans from family and friends.
The idea of having sex made us laugh, so we decided to inseminate at home without any medical intervention. Heidi is a nurse, so we benefited from her medical background and obtained the sterile cups, syringes, and other tools needed to increase our chances of pregnancy. We agreed that if Heidi didn’t get pregnant within three months, we would each go to a fertility doctor to independently determine if we could have a child. If my boys were the reason Heidi couldn’t conceive, I would have been disappointed, but I would have gracefully walked out of the process, hoping that she would be able to get pregnant without me. I did my best (literally!) and inseminated Heidi every time she ovulated.
We took the insemination process as casually as possible because while we were about to do something that would change our lives forever if we succeeded, the process of doing this ourselves was comical. Because there was a side. Here we were, doing what so many other gay men and their straight college friends had promised each other, and I could faintly hear them saying: “If I’m not married by the time I’m 40…” “You’re my gay” Best friend. We should have a baby! ” – echoed in our heads throughout the trip.
There was no mood lighting, no Chardonnay, and no Barry White playing on the night of the insemination. Instead, we told each other interesting stories after the process was completed. Heidi listens to Led Zeppelin (after all, Heidi sings in a Led Zeppelin cover band) while lying in bed with her hips raised at an angle to increase the chances that the sperm will meet the egg. It was. seinfeld It’s rebroadcast on TV and a carton of your favorite Chinese takeout is within reach. After the third attempt, Heidi became pregnant. Clearly, steamed shrimp dumplings, “Stairway to Heaven,” and Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer’s enthusiasm equaled success. At least for us.
Throughout my pregnancy, I continued to be in awe of the ultrasound images of the baby in Heidi’s belly that were my child, and marveled at the fact that the self-insemination had really worked. We decided to have a family day where Heidi would have primary custody during the week and I would have the baby at my house on the weekends, we would share the household finances and the whole family would be dedicated to being together. . Every week.
Their son, Nathaniel Chase, was born in September 2010. We never attended a Lamaze class because he arrived before the scheduled start time, but Heidi is a confident champion and believes in herself and her body as it naturally does. It blended perfectly with what was designed. I stayed firmly by her side, cheering her on, holding her on my knees when she helped me up, but when the nurse yelled at me to do so, I put Daddy’s butt in the way. I moved it quickly to avoid it. After Nate was born, we had an impromptu “Circle of Life” moment (clue lion king) and had Chinese food delivered to his hospital room.
Source: BuzzFeed – LGBTQ – www.buzzfeed.com
