Can trans women actually double-jump like in video games?

I finally cracked the code. (canvas)

It’s a problem that has plagued humanity for as long as we’ve had legs and the muscles necessary to temporarily propel us upwards. Can trans women double jump?

For thousands of years, philosophers, scholars, and intellectuals have tried and failed to uncover elusive answers to questions as old as time itself.

Did Marsha P. Johnson double jump before throwing the first brick at Stonewall? Could Sophia Bursett simply jump over the prison fence and escape from Litchfield? Is orange the new black? And why didn’t Dylan Mulvaney promote herself with her “Days of Girlhood” TikTok series, like all trans women are supposed to be able to do?

Now, this may be a bit of a stretch, but oddly enough, the question of “can trans women double jump” is a real question.

Of course, to begin answering these locomotive conundrums, we need to turn to 2018’s video games, the veritable bible of philosophical answers to the trans community’s biggest mysteries. celeste.

Created by game developer and double jump enthusiast Maddy Thorson, this platformer follows Madeline, an authentically transgender character, as she confronts self-doubt and braves the mighty climb of Mount Celeste to prove she is capable of achieving greatness.

While some may brazenly suggest that this award-winning title is an allegory for the grueling and thankless work required to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, more academic and intellectual analysis suggests that this is clear evidence that trans women can indeed jump and jump in the air.

The first person, or rather, the first scholar, to make this groundbreaking observation was Redditor Meylody, who in 2021 published an illustrative research paper on the analysis that some foolishly misinterpreted as a meme.

A so-called “meme” published on r/gamingcirclejerk shows a crude drawing by an amateur who assumes a game’s story will include themes related to mental health. On the other hand, what it really means for trans women to be able to double jump completely eclipses them.

Since then, scholars around the world have adopted this idea, and Twitter user Fleshbeast has suggested that video game characters who can double jump, e.g. doom The series must be trance.

Others, including user ComfyBasilisk, instead suggested that this assumption was not true and amounted to “material misstatement.” Celeste’s true purpose. To prove that trans women can air dash.

So is it true? Can trans women defy the laws of physics and create kinetic energy where none exists? Do they need power-ups like gold coins or a stuffed IKEA shark to achieve their double-jumping dreams?

Pink News finally reveals whether trans women can double jump

We asked four trans women to tell us if they can double jump, and to prove it with video evidence seen by PinkNews.

“I can’t even jump,” one 26-year-old from Stoke-on-Trent told PinkNews.

The 25-year-old from East London said he couldn’t do a double jump, but could long jump backwards down the stairs. When asked to provide evidence, the respondent said no.

The last two respondents claimed that they could indeed do a double jump. However, recorded video evidence shows that they both jumped only once and did not jump in the air after that.

The jury seems to be still out on whether trans women hold the key to physics-defying acrobatics, as none of the respondents actually double-jumped, and the survey’s four respondents is a terrible sample size.

evidence celeste It also suggests that previous analysis of it being an extremely vulnerable story of overcoming depression and prejudice is likely true, including the infamous memorial dedicated to “those who died while climbing” found at the end of the game.

Well, maybe we’ll find out that trans men can climb walls like Spider-Man.

Please share your thoughts! Let us know in the comments section below. Please keep the conversation respectful.