Avoid Marrying Your High School Sweetheart

Every resident of Vinton marries their high school sweetheart. This small town in rural Louisiana has a population of just over 3,000 people. Marrying a classmate who just graduated from high school is as predictable as a train whistling past the feed store every day at 3 p.m.

I thought otherwise. And so was I. I was gay. Whether I was sitting in the pews at St. Joseph Catholic Church or in the bleachers at Vinton Middle School, being gay made me abhorrent. And my family came from the next town, which could have been a different country due to the insulation of the small town. The Vinton locals who have lived there for generations never let me forget that I didn’t belong there, that I wasn’t one of them.

I wasn’t feminine. Rumors that I was a lesbian started before I even questioned my sexuality. When I finally understood what everyone had already suspected, I shared my revelation with some close friends. Rumors spread and I was ostracized at the age of 12, resulting in relentless bullying and depression. At the time, I thought the only way to get out of that town was to go into a coffin.

All I wanted was what every other teenager wanted: a date. Feeling butterflies during your first kiss, dancing awkwardly at the middle school dance, holding hands in the hallway, and passing love notes during class. Eventually I experienced some of that too, but with conditions. My friends forbade me from sleepovers and playdates, blocked my calls, and gave me hickeys. I was confused and heartbroken, but I thought this was the closest thing to a relationship I’d ever get. Someone who would be embarrassed to kiss me anywhere but in the dark.

Furthermore, same-sex marriage was illegal in every state except Massachusetts, 1,500 miles away. What kind of future awaits you if you have a girlfriend? We couldn’t hold hands at the Friday night football game. Our relationship would be illegal in that town, that state, 98 percent of the country, and most parts of the world. I was destined to continue to love in the darkness.

I started ninth grade, and by then my queerness was old news. I wasn’t well liked, but most people left me alone. That spring, just before school was out for the summer, another seemingly straight friend kissed me. I was expecting the usual routine: please don’t tell anyone; If you do your homework, I’ll kiss you again.; This doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian or anything…Instead, she asked if she could go on a date.

Britney and my relationship was strained at first. Friends accused me of “making her gay” and of toying with my feelings. Our family considered us phased. Our high school principal prohibited us from attending the homecoming dance together. So we did the only thing we thought we could do. It’s about running away.

For the remaining two years, I transferred to a boarding high school and lived in the dormitory. Britney’s family moved out of town. We were in a long distance relationship for 2 years, but it wasn’t easy when we were 17 and we broke up for 4 months during our junior year. Then we ran away to college together, the first in our family to do so. Love at a young age can be a great motivator.