Many of the holidays portrayed in pop culture are warm, fuzzy, and family-connecting, but it’s important to recognize and validate that for many of us, this holiday can be painful. It’s important. Those who are devastated, those who are anxious, those who are lonely, those who are hated by others, those who are depressed, and even those with the most loving families. Don’t worry. There are therapeutic tools that can help so you don’t face this problem alone.
The good part of the sometimes hard truth is that if you’re reading this right now, it means you’ve already survived the beginning of the holiday slide that is Thanksgiving (Or, as my Micmac family cheekily calls it, “gratitude.”).
Congratulations to you and frankly me too. we did it!
No matter how many times you go through what you experienced at Thanksgiving, you are now on the other side. But lolWith no shortage of Christmas carols blaring everywhere, we are now reminded of the impending arrival of Christmas (regardless of our religious beliefs) December 25th.
Then there’s a quick follow-up for the new year. And let’s be real, the new year can ultimately bring about feelings of failure regarding all the resolutions we’ve ever made but never been able to keep.
This year, I’m here as a virtual therapist and I say:
Let go of all the emotionally destructive traditions and rituals to which we have unconsciously subscribed in the past.
Rather than repeating the pattern of pushing against social norms, cultivate resources and use therapeutic tools to cope with the present.
For example, periods of emphasis on dietary follow-up and periods of emphasis on dieting and weight loss can be disorienting and confusing at best, and can be triggering and traumatic. worst.
Before I go any further, I would like to honor that I have no judgment whatsoever about these vacation experiences.
In fact, I’ve made it clear that even therapists and body activists can experience these feelings as well (Yes, surprisingly, we are humans too!) These feelings are not wrong, but you can also respect that they no longer serve any purpose.
So, give those feelings of impostor syndrome a big “See you soon!” self gaslighting Say hello to these 5 therapeutic tools To survive the holidays!
treatment tools 1. Reserve space as needed
There are many unspoken rules between the families we spend the holidays with that ultimately influence how we behave physically and emotionally in any given situation. Hold and maintain your posture.
If you’re still in the decision-making process about what to do and where to spend this time, I encourage you to take seriously what happens with that.
Are you looking forward to visiting? Do you feel obligated? Are there any new holiday traditions you could consider instead?
Check with yourself about any unspoken “rules” that may exist regarding your ability to take up space. Is that encouraged in your family, or are you taught to keep yourself small?
Perhaps in the past you’ve felt the need to dress more modestly, talk less or eat less, rather than share your opinions or hide parts of yourself. .
Have you noticed how your body feels when you are near them? Does this thought trigger any sensations, emotions, thoughts, or memories?
Being aware of how we feel in relation to taking up space during the holidays can be an important opportunity to learn more about our needs and how to have them met.
This holiday season, we’d like to invite you to TAKE UP SPACE. Live the moment with the capital letter “LIFE”. Make yourself feel bigger. big; to feel the sense of spaciousness itself (whatever it means to you).
Maybe it looks like taking an extra piece of the pie. Perhaps that means developing an awareness that the space you want or need to occupy may be in a different location than your family.
Whatever that means to you. I respect that.
treatment tools 2. Create a healthy “safe bubble”
In addition to the many unspoken holiday rules passed down through our families and society, a lot of energy comes together in one space.
The energy may feel like tension or discomfort. Sometimes you may feel angry or uncomfortable. Sometimes it feels positive and fun. Sometimes it feels like a judgment or a misunderstanding.
Whatever you have experienced in the past that was projected onto you by others, it was their energy, not yours. So, during this holiday vacation, I would like to encourage you to cultivate this affirmation as a therapeutic tool. “Their energy is theirs. My energy is mine.”
Use generously and often.
Additionally, use your imagination to create your own kind of energy-filled, safe bubble to protect yourself from the emotional vampires that attack Eggnog. Complete these steps before participating in the various holiday events.
Take a moment to carefully create what your energetic protection looks and feels like for you (for example, mine is a burnt orange, constantly moving blob of warm energy). is). Find one way to call this into a physical entity and take it with you on vacation.
I personally love essential oil sprays and certain rocks and crystals.
The purpose of this is that when Aunt Linda inevitably tells you, “You don’t really have to eat that,” imagine that projection just bouncing back into your own bubble, and internalize it as truth. The goal is to avoid becoming
treatment tools 3. Learn and practice what you are allowed to have and set boundaries.
The “safe bubble” point above is a great example of this. We have the right to say no, even if we are forced to offer holiday cheer. We have the right to communicate our needs.
We all have the right to be curious about how to spend our time most sustainably throughout this season.
Again, our loved ones may need to be taught to respect boundaries (indirectly through modeling or directly through communicated rules/beliefs/norms) I don’t know.
treatment tools 4. Find allies within the holiday community
Whether you’re spending time with your family of origin, your chosen family, or both, being in a larger group can often feel overwhelming.
Not everyone involved in a particular party or dinner will always feel completely safe, and that’s okay too.
Choose one well-appointed ally who can be present in the situation and basically act as a support system when needed (and this can go both ways).
This might look like having an open conversation with the person beforehand and working together to create a “Plan B” or “toilet break cue time.” Or maybe it looks like you’re creating a safe word or gesture that means “I’m really excited.” Help me now! ”
And another pre-agreed physical way to invite us to physically break out of this trigger (i.e. hugging and holding hands). Remember here, there is no right or wrong answer, only what nourishes your mind and body the most.
For me, I know that having that ally shows my system that I’m not alone (Even if my anxiety is starting to feel that way).
treatment tools 5. Stay connected to your body
as somatic therapistI am very passionate about cultivating awareness of the mind-body connection every month of the year, but especially during times of heightened triggers like the holidays.
Staying connected to the sensations, feelings, thoughts, emotions, images, and memories that arise is an important act of self-care.
When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or freezing into a dissociative state, use your body as a resource. Allow your body to ground you and become your safe harbor in a potentially stormy sea!
Whichever therapeutic tools you use to help yourself this holiday season, giving yourself permission to do so will create a new avenue of traditions for you to cultivate and nurture.
I know it’s not easy, but I believe in the capacity for human resilience, and I also know that I truly believe in your ability to harness it.
What therapeutic tools do you use to get through the holidays?
Source: The Curvy Fashionista – thecurvyfashionista.com
