As summer approaches, some people take surfing lessons, sign up for pottery classes, or get serious about gardening. But I prefer to buy a 5 euro men’s shirt and treat it like origami, tightening it, twisting it, tucking it in the right places until it resembles a completely different outfit. My second favorite hobby is seeing the worried look on my boyfriend’s face every time I come home wearing another oversized shirt that probably belongs to someone’s uncle. He knows what’s coming: 20 minutes of offensive maneuvering and a full-blown identity crisis for the shirt in question. What started as a button-down somehow ended up becoming a draped top, an asymmetrical blouse, or, for a particularly ambitious day, a bubble skirt. So the chance is yours shirt I’m bored. Here’s what to do:
The following transformation looks great, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t occasionally wear an oversized shirt and call it a dress. As a result, beach clubs, seaside tavernas, and those trying to enforce dress codes all suffer. But we’re here to discuss what happens when the shirt is given too much freedom and I’m not supervised. If you want to wear a softly draping, wrap-style top with just the right amount of asymmetrical waist action, don’t button it up with a shirt. Grab the sides by the buttons and pull them around your waist as if you were wrapping a cardigan. Next, bring the other side across your body and over the first side, next to your waist, where you want all the drama to happen (if your shirt is comically oversized, feel free to steal some fabric from the opposite armpit and bring it to the gathering point at your waist). Holding everything in place, reach down until you find the clump of fabric gathered to the side and secure with a hair tie. And lo and behold, you’ve got what you want to spend 120 euros on when you see it described as “architectural.”
This requires a bit of a leap of faith. Please wear your shirt backwards. Turn up the collar and button it in the back for a very elegant turtleneck situation. But be sure to leave one or two buttons undone long enough to create what I generously call an “intentional panel.” Go to the front again (technically to the back, but we’re not teaching spatial ethics today) and fold the bottom part up into a nice, thin strip, about waist height. This will naturally tighten your body. All that remains are two purposeful panels hanging behind you. Gather them together, tie them in a ribbon at the back, and accept that you’ve somehow created a top that looks intentional yet a little delusional in the best possible way.
Even if the shirt pattern doesn’t really suit your folding situation, if you’re still emotionally committed to the idea of backwards, wear it backwards anyway. After buttoning it all the way to the back, decide what to do with your hands. Drape your hands boldly through the sleeve openings when you remove them, or if you want something a little more functional, roll your arms up and tuck them into the sleeves for a more “this is under control” effect. Oversized shirts are not recommended as tops for going out. However, if you have a smaller one, preferably satin, you can proceed. Take the hem of the shirt and pull it up around your neck and tie the two panels together to form a bow. At the front, a deep draping neckline forms, making it look as if you have plans for the evening. Next, bring the sleeves that are just hanging down to the back so that the front part is tucked in and flattened so that the hemline is nice and straight. Finally, take the same sleeve and tie it in a bow at the back, just like the top sleeve, and you’re done.
We are now entering the realm of skirts where logic is defied. You can actually create the perfect skirt with two shirts of similar length and matching button plackets. That is, one literally fits inside the other. However, it is better if the pattern and color do not match at all. At this stage it is beyond harmony. If you button the first shirt onto the second shirt, it becomes one continuous shirt. As if accepting his new role in life, the collar wraps around his waist and he buttons it all the way. And that’s your skirt. If you find bubble skirts more interesting, make sure you wear tight sports shorts underneath. Next, button the shirt to match the length of the skirt and tuck the excess fabric completely into the shorts. All you are left with is quantity, intention, and an uneasy awareness that things will work out anyway.
Source: Our Culture – ourculturemag.com
