How Not To Be A Supermodel

The moment you’ve all been waiting for has arrived: my first book, How not to be a supermodelare now accepting reservations! here!

It’s a book you can pick up and read – or listen to if you prefer my dulcet voice. Over the years, you’ve loved my revealing life updates and eagerly read my funny tales of woe (remember the time I accidentally nearly impaled myself with the bath tap?). So let me take you all the way back to 2001, when I was a handful who ditched my law degree to become an instantly rich and famous supermodel.

can I call you How not to be a supermodel This is a memoir. It’s about my own memories and experiences as a fashion model in the 2000s. God That sounds very serious. “Memoirs” makes it sound like I wrote the book in the 1800s, in the drawing room, with my mother embroidering and Eliza practicing the piano.

So let me ask you this: In your opinion, would a memoir include a story about how you accidentally went on a luxurious five-day vacation with a man you didn’t know? Would a memoir typically have a chapter like this: Body like an erect penisOr, hold on a second, skim through your notes. Drunk and no pants on? No, that’s not the case.

Yes, this book is about me and it is set in the past, but don’t mistake this for painful self-analysis. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t write this book while occasionally sobbing into a starched linen scarf and wiping my eyes when the parts got too unbearable. This is a roaring romp through a decade of the impossible scenarios and shocking events that a non-supermodel life has to offer, full of chaos and failure and laughs and often absurdity.

Pre-order How to Not Be a Supermodel

Yes, there are emotional moments. Of course there are. In fact, when I got my book deal, I was specifically told that I had to include some story-telling bits. (As if me accidentally getting caught up in an impromptu sex show or nearly falling into the ocean with sharks wasn’t story-telling enough.) So, yes, I included the difficult bits, but also all the bits that would make me spit my coffee on public transport or be embarrassed.

But it’s mostly a laughably accurate description of all the reasons why I couldn’t be a supermodel: my obvious physical shortcomings, my personality flaws, and my uncanny ability to attract chaos and disaster into almost any situation.

You can pre-order How not to be a supermodel The release date is August 29th. The only book you should read this year!***So I know you’ll love it. Apparently pre-ordering is really important. So if you only click one link I post, make it this one. I’ll be forever grateful.

Pre-order How not to be a supermodel here

I’ll be posting more about this book and the writing process, because it’s honestly been the best and most satisfying thing I’ve ever done in my adult life. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that writing is something I started doing towards the end of my modeling career. Blogging was a happy accident that blossomed into something amazing and has allowed me to have a brilliant and rewarding career in social media, but I’ve been chasing a book deal for a long time****. It’s truly a “full circle” moment for me.

*If you’re lucky

**As accurate as possible. Almost accurate. Somewhat accurate.

***As it is too early to quote from other writers, I have been compelled to provide this quotation myself. I have endeavoured to make it modest and tasteful.

To be honest, that’s the number of people I’ve had to sleep with.