Photo: Joshua Lawson Harris
People make many changes to their appearance throughout their lives. Some become permanent anchors of identity, while others disappear as quickly as they arrive. A haircut that felt perfect when you were 22 may look ridiculous at 30. A tattoo chosen on a whim can either become an important part of someone’s story or a regrettable decision that requires expensive removal.
The difference between what sticks and what doesn’t is not always obvious at the time. Sometimes the choices that appear temporarily can end up determining a person’s appearance for decades. Also, fixes that are supposed to last a lifetime may be abandoned within a year or two. Understanding what makes certain style decisions last can help you make choices you’re less likely to regret later.
identity elements
Style choices that align with your core identity tend to stick. When someone gets a piercing or changes their fashion to reflect who they really are rather than who they want to be, it usually becomes permanent. That decision comes from an inner sense of self, rather than from external pressures or trends.
This explains why some people continue to modify during major life changes, while others gradually stop modifying. People who get their belly button pierced because they think it’s the right fit for them will continue to do so, regardless of age, career changes, or relationship status. If you got it in the early 2000s because you thought someone else had it, you may have deleted it after the trend passed.
Trials often come during transitions in life. A new job, a relationship, a move to a different city, becoming a parent all shake up your identity and force you to reevaluate your appearance choices. The modifications that survive these vicissitudes are usually true expressions of the self in the first place. It often does not reveal itself as a temporary experiment or an attempt to fit a particular group or era.
Photo: Alexander Gray
the real reality begins
Some style choices don’t stick because they’re a lot of work to maintain. That elaborate hair color requires visits to the salon every six weeks. Acrylic nails require regular filling. The high-maintenance look that seemed worth it at first gets tired after a while.
Career demands also rule out certain options. Some people may like facial piercings, but they should be removed when entering a corporate job. Some people change careers or find an employer who doesn’t care, leaving significant changes in place. Choosing to stay is often about either finding a way to work professionally or deciding it’s important enough to influence your career path.
Physical changes over time influence which changes persist. Weight fluctuations, aging, and pregnancy all affect how your body modification looks and feels. A perfectly placed earring on a 20 may be in a different position on a 40. Still, some people adapt and hold on. Some may decide that the changes are no longer worth keeping.
Social context matters
Family reactions also play a role, although not always in obvious ways. Some people remove changes to please their families, while others keep changes because their families object. Comments that overcome family pressure are often more than simply rebellious statements; they often have deep meaning for the person.
Romantic relationships complicate things. Your partner’s preferences shouldn’t dictate your appearance choices, but they often do anyway. Some changes survive multiple relationships, while others are removed to please a new partner. What lasts even as relationships change tends to be what that person values, regardless of anyone else’s opinion.
Geographic location also affects lifespan. Moving from a city where everyone has tattoos and piercings to a conservative small town will test your commitment to those choices. Some people don’t care about standing out and leave the changes made. Others are uncomfortable with constant attention and shrink their appearance in order to blend in with their surroundings.
Pain and Commitment Test
Changes that require a lot of effort, time, and money often last a long time. Investing creates attachment. Those who have endured hours of tattoo sessions and months of piercing treatments have literally invested in their makeover. Getting rid of it feels like a waste of all the effort and discomfort.
However, this does not guarantee persistence. Despite the initial investment, many people choose to have their piercings removed or their tattoos removed. The sunk cost fallacy works in both directions. Sometimes continued dissatisfaction outweighs the initial commitment and people cut their losses.
Reversibility is more important than most people think when making the initial decision. Earrings can be plugged, hair can grow back, and clothing can be changed. These temporary changes are easier to attempt than permanent changes. That is, people discover whether they actually want them long-term through experience rather than guesswork.
Tattoos fall into a separate category because removal is expensive, painful, and not always completely effective. This permanence means that people either learn to live with tattoos they regret, or were sufficiently confident in the first place that regrets would never occur. People who choose a design that has personal meaning after thorough research and a cooling-off period tend to remain satisfied.
when meaning evolves
In some cases, style choices do not stick because they change their meaning. A modification that represented freedom at 18 may feel like a restriction at 30. What once felt rebellious becomes mainstream. Personal importance fades and without its meaning, maintaining appearances loses its purpose.
It may also become more meaningful over time. A simple piercing can be associated with a particular period of personal growth or a reminder of overcoming a challenge. These accumulated associations increase the value of the modification over time and establish it as a permanent feature.
Life events can strengthen or weaken your obsession with change. Some people may remove their piercings because they caused problems during pregnancy, while others may keep their piercings because they represent their identity before becoming parents. The same event pushes different people in opposite directions, depending on what the change means to them personally.
Photo: PeopleByOwen
trend cycle effect
If you follow trends, you’ll end up regretting some changes. Microbladed eyebrows that look perfect now may look decidedly outdated in 10 years. Stretched lobes, which were popular in the 2010s alternative scene, led many people to seek reconstructive surgery. Choices based on trends have a shorter lifespan than choices that are personally meaningful.
Some accept this and believe that the changes are temporary in nature. They wear earrings knowing they might take them out later, try bold hair colors with the intention of changing them often, and treat their appearance as an ongoing experiment rather than a fixed identity. For them, the experiment itself is important, so there is no need to stick to anything permanently.
Final thoughts: Make choices that last…
Once you understand these patterns, you’re more likely to stick with the change. Waiting for the initial excitement and seeing if the desire lasts rules out impulsive decisions. Choosing changes that reflect your actual identity, rather than your aspirational one, will improve your long-term satisfaction. Accepting that some choices won’t stick and planning for that possibility relieves the pressure to make every decision permanent.
Style choices that stick are usually thoughtfully made for personal, rather than external, reasons, as they persist through various life changes and continue to feel authentic. Everything else tends to be temporary, and that’s okay. Not all changes need to last forever to be worthwhile. Some things serve their purpose for a certain season and then disappear naturally as people grow and change.
Source: Lizbreygel: Beauty, Fashion, Lifestyle – www.lizbreygel.com
