The other night, my 12-year-old Anton and I were chatting before bed…
After lying under the stars that glowed in the dark and talking about fishing, playing the drums, and officially becoming a teenager this summer (!!), the conversation turned to love languages. I asked him if he had heard of pop psychology concepts about the different ways people express and receive love.
“There are five love languages,” I explained and listed them.
* Words of affirmation (praise, tell people how much you love them)
* Acts of service (make someone breakfast, pick them up from the airport)
*Quality time (taking a long walk, watching your favorite movie together)
・Skinship (cuddling, rubbing shoulders, holding hands)
* Gifts (doesn’t have to be expensive!)
my father’s? Fill your cupboard with European cereals (an act of service). my mom’s? Definitely a word of affirmation. Is it mine? Both words and skinship.
Anton’s answer surprised me. “It’s definitely an act of service, like when you brought me apple slices while I was doing my homework,” he said. “And let’s spend some quality time together, like riding bikes and playing Code Names.” I always thought of him as physical contact. Who doesn’t like being hugged or scratched on the back before bed? — but it helps to know that when I do small things for him or spend time with him, he feels extra loved.
Quality time with Anton
Last week, with this in mind, I surprised him with a cup of Cheerios in bed before school (which made me so happy!). Afterwards, while listening to him practice his drums, I asked him lots of questions about technique and how he can move his hands so fast. It feels so good to know that he feels valued in that moment. It’s so easy to ask questions and find out!
What are your thoughts? What about your children? Do you know their love language? My niece said she received a cat toy in the mail and was playing Block Blast on the couch.
PS Tweens love languages and are the most fun games to play with kids.
Source: Cup of Jo – cupofjo.com
