How Do You Mother Yourself?

This week I’ve been tearing up an advanced copy of It’s awakeJen Huttmaker’s upcoming memoirs (September 23) wakes up for a night, hears her husband’s voice on the phone, whispers something sweet to someone else. That’s page 1. The rest of the book follows what happens next, and it’s a wild ride.

But here’s what I want to share today: During therapy, Jen is worried about her children. When Jen feels confused – after all, she constantly checks things from her to-do list – her therapist asks, “Jen, what will a good mother do here?”

Suddenly, the answer is clear: “Please drink more water and tell me to stop being a Facebook stalker,” she replies.

Over the next few weeks, Jen said, “Not like the teacher assigned a benchmark, not the preacher orders action, not the coach hosts a call for play, but the feelings are more important than the proportion of work, as if he is more important than the proportion of work, as if he is taking care of her beloved little mind, body and body.

How beautiful is it?

How do you parent yourself during difficult times? Do you want to go to bed early? Do you want to watch a comfortable movie? Do you want to reach out to someone you love? Sometimes, if I lie in bed and beat myself up for something I want to do differently – for example, assigning work or interacting with my kids, I tell myself, “I’m learning.” For me, I don’t make everything perfect, I make a mistake and admit that it’s okay! We are all in progress. The best thing we can expect and strive for is to constantly grow and learn. And maybe to drink more water.

PS The best parenting advice I’ve ever got and the Grand Canyon trick for worry.

(2013 photo of Joanna and Anton)