A very scientific investigation of your preferences in video game furniture.
You’ve dated Twinks, dated otters, dated bears, have you ever dated the couch? I’ll date everything Ask the eternal question: what happens when the objects in your home are hot, emotionally complicated and vibes? Finally, there’s no more shame about your emotional attachment to the fridge. Scream it from the rooftop, people – you’re in love with the curtain rod, and you don’t care who knows it!
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what I’ll date everything?
If you’re new here: I’ll date everything Think of a couch, toilet, door, mirror with fully expressed dialogue and surprisingly complex emotional arcs. Yes, it’s very strange. At this point, this level of deviation from reality is necessary to effectively separate.
The characters are funny, flirty and packed with more red flags than the final group chat. Whether you’re a strong, silent type or a confused charmer, there’s someone (or something?) for everyone. So, in the spirit of introspection (and public shame), we have put together this definitive list of your favorites. I’ll date everything The man says about you.
Spoiler: That’s not flattering.
Your favorite guy I’ll date everything I’ll say about you
Abel
You are an emotionally constipated sucker. I want a faithful man who smells like sawdust and oppressed emotions. A man who repairs your wobble chair but doesn’t talk about his trauma until his third year. You fantasize a slow dance in the quiet kitchen. Perhaps healed his wooden heart with a homemade pie.
- sign: Taurus
- Favorite food: Biscuits and gravy
- hobby: Some, but nothing you stick to
- Green flag: Always ready for a comfortable night
- Red flag: Chronic Red Flag Blinds
Amir
You want to be courted. I am drawn to the second biggest emotions, poetic texts, and the man who will “read your aura.” You are definitely traumatized with someone in the bathroom. People think you have the main character syndrome – and you do – but it’s not your fault that you are a very interesting person.
- sign: Libra
- Favorite food: Grapes are fed to you by hand
- hobby: Cry to make a voice call out to the notes you sent yourself
- Green flag: I deeply believe in positive words
- Red flag: Lowki Derrell
Barry
You don’t need attention from everyone only from the most important people. You’re drawn to Chalmers, who talks about a mile a minute and has five side quests at once, but don’t forget to say you’re beautiful. You turn your head, but you want a partner who has eyes just for you. Bonus points if they smell like Sephora.
- sign: Virgo
- Favorite food: Something you split up with someone
- hobby: Reorganize everything you own
- Green flag: It will be displayed without maintaining the score
- Red flag: Currently, you’re rethinking everything you’ve been texting
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Cablizzio
You say you’re looking for something real, but who are you kidding? You want someone hot and charming enough to project your entire romantic fantasy, just mystical. You love smooth speakers who know how to pair wines and how to make them feel like the funniest person in the room. Ah, I think they should be good people too.
- sign: Sagittarius
- Favorite food: Pasta made with too much butter
- hobby: Make your own life romantic with 4K
- Green flag: Being around you is free entertainment
- Red flag: I’ve never sat still
cam
You fall for a man with spiny, sloppy, and emotionally under construction. The cam is not warm, not attractive, and doesn’t even try to impress you. You think it is the best romantic honor to be chosen by someone you trust no one. You are the softest living soul, or completely in your self-destruction era. Side note: Are you okay?
- sign: Scorpio
- Favorite food: Big Left Over Eater
- hobby: Projecting on people who are not emotionally available
- Green flag: It’s funny, it’s traumatic
- Red flag: I’ll be jealous and keep jealous
chance
You want the person making the plan to date like a side quest and kiss like it’s a critical hit. You’re drawn to the chaos that kicks the door with the First Initiative. As long as they brighten up when talking about their latest hyperfixation, you don’t mind being a bit awkward. You’re not just looking for love. You are looking for a companion.
- sign: Gemini
- Favorite food: Trail Mix (but it’s mostly M&M)
- hobby: Your 10-year-old DND campaign
- Green flag: Literally, what do you want to go down
- Red flag: Start a battle for niche lore and win
Cart & Rod
Why do you date one person when you can date two Who already has a great taste and impeccable joke? You want to be worshiped, entertained, and sometimes dragged by matching outfits. You live in the heart of drama, chaos and the best tea in your neighborhood. If Love isn’t a three-man production with costume changes and whispering insults, what’s the point?
- sign: Leo
- Favorite food: Martini you didn’t pay
- hobby: I’ll wiretap, but I’ll make it fashionable
- Green flag: Keep receipts
- Red flag: I’ll read it out loud
Big suke
There’s no need to chat. You need someone who is capable, calm, and can accumulate emotions just as beautifully as stacking plates. You fall into something serious – someone who won’t open to anyone, and definitely not immediately. You say there is little maintenance, but it’s patient that you really are.
- sign: Capricorn
- Favorite food: “No sugar” black coffee, you scream
- hobby: Tell people about Kintsugi
- Green flag: Deeply curious
- Red flag: “Um, actually…”
Dorian
You fall into a strong, quiet type. Someone who never opens, some who don’t make the first move, and somebody who somehow thinks to you, “He’s just afraid of loving.” You say you’re emotionally mature, but you’re really deeply committed to unleashing his tragic backstory. suit? It’s pure white. Build? holy. Emotional repression? project.
- sign: cancer
- Favorite food: He praised what you cooked
- hobby: Have a cup of tea for emotional support
- Green flag: Be honest? You might actually fix him
- Red flag: The two-hour text thinks “give him space.”
Jean Lou Pissoir
You are not threatened by confidence. You will be turned on by it. Jean Lu is noisy, rhyming, vaguely damp, literally a toilet, but that’s just you want him more. You are pathologically attracted to one person who no one else dates. Not because you’re desperate, but because you’re different. You won’t fall in love. That’s all a bit, right? right! ?
- sign: Aquarius
- Favorite food: Sushi in a bed that looks like a weirdo
- hobby: The irony of the weapon
- Green flag: Unshakable confidence
- Red flag: So, um, you definitely date the toilet!
Koa
You are soft. Too soft. Even the human Onesie. You fall into a gentle giant with an extra cushion for Psin. The love for you is wrapped in a warm blanket after crying in the bath and hearing Enya, and it works! I think silence is romantic, and physical touch is a personality trait.
- sign: Pisces
- Favorite food: Too many chips and dips
- hobby: Projects emotions onto inanimate objects
- Green flag: Deep intuitive and genuinely considerate
- Red flag: You’ll be traumatized on the sofa
Teddy
You burn brightly, move fast, fall hard. So you need a soft guy to land. You are drawn to a man in the shape of a bear that emits quiet strength, a gentle voice, and a dad’s energy. Teddy isn’t just hugging her It’s soothing. You say you want emotional growth, but you really want to hear your confusion, verify your pain, and give you a warm drink before you finish your rant. Is that asking so much?
- sign: Aries
- Favorite food: Melted cheese in all forms
- hobby: Talk as much as possible
- Green flag: Literally, what do you want to go down
- Red flag: I desperately need to make corrections
Vaughn
The nurse, the patient is running away!
buy I’ll date everything today
One thing is clear when you see him dating the main character, the quiet fixer, and the literal toilet. But hey, we’re not here to judge. We are here to enable it. If you haven’t yet fallen your head into a strange, soft, indifferent world I’ll date everythingNow is your chance.
I’ll date everything It is currently available on Steam, PlayStation, Xbox, and Nintendo.
Source: Gayety – gayety.com
