In a recent article, Mother Jones It highlighted the terrifying revival of fear LGBTQ+ Federal EmployeesIt reminds me of something oppressive The Fear of Lavender From the 1950s. The Trump administration’s recent policies, including a memorandum from the Human Resources Administration that bans employee resource groups that promote diversity initiatives, have instilled uncertainty among LGBTQ+ workers.
Reporting mass termination and name request LGBTQ+ Employee Resource Group Leaders have only raised these concerns. This hostile environment forced many LGBTQ+ resource groups to go underground.
Next, Supporters reportedThe Trump administration announced earlier this month. enddei.ed.govanyone can report “divisive ideology and indoctrination” and call it “illegal discriminatory practices in learning institutions.” Thankfully, it’s been hit with a lot of spam.
This is not a one-time thing. Perhaps the Trump administration is back to an era of snitching for LGBTQ+ people and other so-called “deviators.”
It reflects my own experiences as I work on it Capitol Hill In the late 1980s and 1990s, I was impressed by the unforgettable similarities between then and now. At the time, the federal government was a dangerous landscape for strange individuals. The fear of being out was prevalent, and the outcome was disastrous. I was always looking over my shoulder.
To navigate this dangerous environment, me and other Gay Hill staff have developed a secret way to connect. For example, when I had a date, we arrange a secret meeting on the street corner. And when I dated the Marines, we only slid into the cinema after the light went dark and the film began. This left our interactions covered in the darkness. That was the way he wanted and I didn’t bother him either. Because I felt like I was doing something wrong too.
I remember being in the hallways of Canon, Longworth and Rayburn council buildings. I sometimes overtook other gay men I recognized from the bar. Our eyes avoid contact and we walk past each other without hints of approval. Each encounters a quiet agreement of mutual protection.
Ghost of HIV/AIDS It was also a big hit in this era. I recall an instance where one day, when two colleagues attend the office, the next colleague disappears and never returns. The whispers circulated, hinting that society had succumbed to the disease it had denounced and feared. These losses were serious, but mourning was an act of solitude, as publicly expressing your grief could incorrectly reveal your own hidden identity.
The constant pressure to hide your true self has inevitably resulted in moments of personal confusion. For example, one night after consuming more alcohol than I have, it was almost a nightly event, but I made a wise move towards a straight friend. The next day he faced me and asked if I was gay. Panic surged through me and I vehemently denied it. I was very embarrassed. I remember what happened after I left just wanting to hide somewhere and not come back.
I would sometimes run away to places like that, seeking a sense of evacuation and community. Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. I was in the beach house in Dewey Beach so it was a literal escape.
I usually wasted with my friends and at some point I creep up and jumped at the “Jolie Trolley” that went from Dewey to Rehoboth. I slid down in the dark, getting drunk and bumping into a gay bar, trying to connect.
During such a visit in the late 80s, I met a man and went home with him after the bar closed. For my fear, the house is Reagan Republicaneverything is deeply closed. I recognized some of them because they were well-known. I was very surprised. The dissonance between their public persona and their private lives was noticeable, highlighting the widespread fear that has driven many of us to live in double existences.
Showtime series fellow travelersIt was heartbreaking at the tragic reality of hiding one’s sexuality within the corridor of power that aired last year. The show illuminates the devastating consequences of exposure and reflects the very real dangers many of us faced.
in Conversation with James Kilchickauthor of Secret City: The hidden history of Gay WashingtonI found a deep resonance with my experience. Kirchick’s DC gay-led secret records shed light on systemic discrimination that was ramping in the federal government.
His work has delved into how policies explicitly ban gays from federal employment and brand them as security risks and moral deviants. This institutionalized bias not only robbed countless talented individuals from their careers, but perpetuated a culture of fear and secrets.
And it shocks us and deeply saddens us that we may return to this unacceptable misery.
Recent developments reported by Mother Jones It’s a straightforward reminder of the past that many people, including me, have been hoping for for a long time. The revival of policies that alienate and risk LGBTQ individuals in federal services is not just a regression, it is a profound injustice. If you’re a certain age like me, it’s very difficult to believe that this might be happening again.
And if you’re coming from the younger generation, you need to do everything you can to fight back.
It is essential that we all recognize these patterns and be fiercely supportive of an environment where we are not forced to hide our true self for fear of retribution. The lessons of the past require us to strive for a future in which authenticity is accepted and fulfilled and diversity is truly celebrated as strength.
Trust me, you don’t want to see me again on street corners or in dark theatres. If those days are really behind us, we must stand out more than ever.
The voice is dedicated to characterizing a wide range of moving personal stories and impactful opinions from LGBTQ+ Communities and their allies. visit advocate.com/submit For more information about submission guidelines. The views expressed in the voice story belong to guest writers, columnists and editors, and do not directly represent views of Supporters or parent company, EqualPride.
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