The night before closing

I often write contracts or close home sale transactions on the eve of a holiday, but I’m actually finishing up my 2024 business a little early, this week.

I had planned a well-deserved vacation after the first of the new year, but upon my return I will be reading articles by real estate experts, following changes in interest rates, and keeping my ears open to anticipate changes in the administration. . It bodes well for the DMV real estate market.

So, appropriate for this season, I would like to leave you with a poetry column as an apology to settlement attorneys and closing agents.

It was the night before closing, in a downtown office.

Two agents were running around stirring.

Our buyer representative, Linda, is bold and shrewd.

And Robert, the sales representative, wears a sharp tailored suit.

The buyers were giddy and their excitement was palpable.

Will they arrive home by the beginning of next year?

Meanwhile, the sellers had been packing all day.

Now I’m exhausted and happy to be moving.

Linda looked down at the cell phone in her hand.

And she wondered how much more she could endure.

The ping sounded like a sleigh bell. Her battery was drained.

She wondered aloud where the lost files had gone.

Robert sat down and surveyed his area.

He felt smug that his work was not in vain.

Meanwhile, poor Linda was losing her cool.

Dealing with a buyer who broke all the rules.

“Don’t buy a sofa! Don’t apply for a loan!

“If this deal falls through, you’ll be on your own!”

“Don’t get a credit card! Don’t lease a car.”

“Otherwise, we will have to continue living where we are.”

The police inspector came to the house to look into the house,

and declared that the HVAC would stop working within a week.

The buyers yelled, “We need $200,000!”

Then Linda put her head in her hands and sighed.

“Relax,” she said softly. “I’ll fix it.”

Had this been declared when she tried to remember?

She then texted Robert and restated her plea.

And the answer that came back was this. Not from me. ”

As midnight approached, more confusion ensued.

Evaluation adjustment! There was going to be a snowstorm!

Lenders are silent, the system is dysfunctional,

A typo was found and the printer was stopping.

Then there was a rattling sound outside on the street.

Both agents jumped out to see what happened.

Self-driving Tesla crashes into utility pole

But there was no one to comfort him.

Then a figure appeared on the sidewalk.

He wears a blazer and boots, has a clipboard and a beard.

The alpaca’s hairstyle and teeth are all shiny.

It had to be payment professional Slick Nick.

He had a bag with many documents in it,

His eyes lit up as he approached the door.

His stride was assertive, his voice commanding.

“Okay. It’s early. I’m here for the closing.”

Nick adjusted his glasses and took a quick look,

“I’ve seen some bad deals, but this one? The chances are slim.”

“Enough drama, enough last-minute impasses.

Let’s solve it now. No more late night phone calls!”

He called the lender in a threatening voice,

“Explain yourself now. We have no other choice.”

The lender looked frustrated and muttered, “It’s a technical glitch.”

And the funds transfer was quickly and professionally fixed.

But Nick wasn’t done yet. He glared and said:

“Sellers and buyers alike, take a seat!”

“While you are on the phone, please sign all the documents.

“Let’s get this over with! Get it together! Get it all together!”

All the signings were done relatively easily.

Afterwards, there was a photo shoot, handshake, and key handover.

The agents high-fived and sat down in their chairs.

I look back on this day’s private events with pride.

The buyers were overjoyed and their joy knew no bounds.

“Can I post it on Instagram?” Do you want to advertise it to the town? ”

The seller was also smiling and holding a large check in his hand.

Build a new house on a large piece of land.

Linda just nodded, her patience wearing thin.

While wondering which closing will start next.

And Robert said of the goals they achieved:

I appreciate that the process went as expected.

Then Nicky got up and finally finished the job.

Then he tweeted, “Too bad, it wasn’t so funny this time.”

He grabbed his phone and got into his Tesla.

Then he uttered one final quip to the agents.

“Let’s listen for teamwork,” he said with a sneer.

“I’m going to go have a beer with some friends.”

Enjoy your holidays! We wish you good health and happiness in 2025.

Valerie M. Blake is a licensed associate broker in DC, Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text 202-246-8602 or email us at: dchomequest.comor follow her on Facebook The Realst 8 of Affair.