In 2002, my theatre friend was an oral student in my first class. I welcomed them with a bottle of wine and lit the candles (even if it was sunlight), and we were comfortable. I asked what they thought about oral sex: their beliefs, experiences, fears, questions, etc. Many say.
They had a lot Anxious about their abilities. It seems no one (especially men) has spoken about this with most women. I reassured them that they weren’t Another way for women to care for men without meeting their needs. Who needs a class among them?
I provided a basic male anatomy lesson (hello, banana). It turns out that most women know little about male anatomy, as most men know about women. We talked about hygiene, gag reflexes, deep bare and swallow (or rather). And pillows! Pillows are your friend – you can’t have too many pillows. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, you can’t focus on someone else’s comfort.
I reminded them of that whole The body is not only the obvious part, but the root zone. I gave the prostate massage a deep dive (see what I did there?) Really Create sexual fireworks.
I associated it with what it’s like being on the receiver. It is how intimate and vulnerable a man is, and the power that a woman has in that scenario. I shared my favorite tips and tricks, both physically and mentally.
We talked about power exchanges and role-playing. My Gestalt training, my lover and my bodywork clients have taught me that sex is one of the richest playgrounds for self-discovery.
I was It hurts Frank about my own experience. I proudly asserted my orgy, whore, and sexual powers – and I gave my students a safe space to assert my own. I suspected they wanted permission, but it wasn’t mine. I urged them to give They themselves Permissions they need. We share sexual fantasies and I cheer them on.
Most importantly, I heard it. I gently encouraged my students to start talking about this same kind of thing with my boyfriend. You can’t have really great sex without great communication.
We finally reached a good place to stop – after all, this was an entry-level course. We toasted their future oral prowess, ate bananas and parted ways.
The next day I felt like a deer in the headlights when each boyfriend tracked me down and thanked me. Twice, on the same day, a straight guy I didn’t know myself know he Know: (a) I am a skilled cock soccer, and (b) his girlfriend and I discussed their sex life. And now I knew what they were doing until last night.
I was speechless and proud! I have twitched my brain to imagine mismanagers advice as a protocol to end this conversation.
These encounters perfectly demonstrate why I continue to teach these classes. Why I choose to step into this nasty, vulnerable, edgy space to declare what I know: Everyone deserves this joy, freedom and deep communion.
Now I promote my class – you guessed it – reviews, usually at least once a month (I keep a waitlist). Small groups, Zoom classes, private coaching or consulting, whatever corresponds to each person and their budget.
Participants have never spoken to a woman in her 50s from a small town girl in her 20s, and have never asked for a temporary GBF (gay best friend) or something for the counsel.
Some of the content has changed since 2002, and much of it has remained the same. A talented therapist and professional lover share a common gift.
I know that I was born outside the “box” from a young age. I foolishly tried to fit in that box, but thankfully failed. Living outside that box now is my superpower, and the box is my Cryptonite. If I can use my power for good, if I can share my truth, strengthen my sexual intimacy, and do my best to everyone’s relationships, well…
As long as my superhero Lycra is black, my cape has a vertical stripe (Slimming), my breastplate is embossed with Swarovski bananas and fits with knee pads, so I’m ready to serve!
This work originally ran Huffpost It is currently being rerun in July 2022 as part of Huffpost Personal’s “Best of” series.
Bill McKinley A queer entertainer, certified Gestalt therapist, bodyworker, sex educator, and pleasure activist.
Source: BuzzFeed – LGBTQ – www.buzzfeed.com
