Astrology Focus: Understanding Kuja Dosha and Freeing Your Stuck Ego
Mars is feared in relationship compatibility because Venus gets overwhelmed if the partner is too ego-driven, does things their own way, is too selfish or stubborn. The secret to relationships is harmony and compromise, and when Mars gets stuck, nothing can seem to budge it. Men are ruled by Mars so they are naturally attached to their own ways and egos and want to fight other women over who is right.
The secret to kuja dosha, or excessive ego in a relationship, is to support your partner, be the hero, and think they are getting their way. Instead of fighting and labeling your partner as wrong, use your creativity to get what you need. Instead of ordering your spouse to take out the trash or clean, make him the hero. “I’m feeling really bad today. Can you help me with some errands or washing the dishes today?” Ask your man and ask him, “Can I find time to pick up the kids today and cook you a great dinner?” Men want to be heroes, so making your spouse the hero can melt their kuja dosa.
Astrology of Mars in marriage chart does not happen as often as the village priest or local astrologer would make you think. There are all kinds of cancellations but it is especially difficult in the rising signs or rising navamsha signs of Gemini and Virgo as Mars and Mercury are in intense opposition. Kuja dosha or problems in married life arise especially when Mars is in the next house in the birth chart or D-9 navamsha chart.
Mars is most affected and if Kuja dosha is not resolved then the following problems can arise from Mars in the following houses:
Second House: Family life will be affected, financial problems will affect married life, sexual energy will be misused, there will be tendency to use harsh and abusive language, communication problems and misunderstandings between partners will arise.
4th house: A troubled childhood or a broken relationship with the mother or an early separation can affect marriage and family life, leading to aggression, a disrupted home life and frequent arguments.
7th House: Fights and arguments with your partner; aggressive sexual energy becomes a problem; your partner is selfish, angry, rude or inconsiderate; early intimacy and sexual passion is mistaken for love, leading to early marital discord.
8th House : It can lead to being both a victim and a perpetrator, the breakdown of relationships, scandalous issues, reproductive problems that can lead to disputes, problems with joint finances. In severe cases, it is believed to cause the early death of a spouse, accidents, and troubles with in-laws.
12th House: The sexual relationship of the couple may be hindered. Extravagance may lead to arguments. The individual’s self-esteem does not acknowledge the need for sacrifice or compromise, leading to distrust in the marriage and an inability to make sacrifices. The conflict between singleness and intimacy may also lead to marital disputes.
People are quick to see Kuja Dosha and declare it in the chart, but there are many fixes for this issue.
1) First, problems tend to grow before age 28, when Mars reaches maturity, so older couples with this issue in their charts may have already learned their lesson.
2) It is believed that if both partners have Kuja dosha, there will be a “right competition” and the aggression of one will not hurt the other as they will have the ability to fight in a free-spirited and courageous manner.
In reality, this is not a solution as marriage is about Venus and harmony. However, some couples like the flames of struggle and the ultimate passion that comes from it and sometimes this works for a while but eventually, Venus and the woman get tired and out of her dharma and natural element and this puts a strain on the relationship. The reality of this situation goes beyond the simple rule that two people with Kuja dosha can marry each other.
Kuja dosha can be found in many charts because it is highly likely to occur and the analysis should especially include the D-9 chart and the Navamsha chart.
How to Overcome Kuja Dosha
1) Get married after 28, date a lot, and become aware of how your Martian ego, dominating nature, and combative nature manifests.
2) Mars energy will increase your passions, so find a partner who can handle it, who can fight with you in a fun and loving way.
3) To remedy this situation, perform Hanuman Chalisa regularly.
4) Seek professional counseling.
5) Say “yes” to your partner, learn to compromise, and let go of the need to get your way. Be aware of your need to control and dominate. Find ways to manage your anger.
6) Repairing childhood relationships with mother (Mars in 2nd and 4th houses)
7) Avoid hot and spicy foods to calm Pitta dosha and help you deal with sexual aggression and arguments.
8) Learn to jointly and fairly manage your finances by getting financial counseling and gaining trust (Mars in the 8th and 12th). Create separate finances and checking accounts to avoid arguments in this area, and plan your joint finances carefully to avoid resentment.
Kuja dosha is very common, so one really has to learn how to overcome it, recognize their issues with ego and lack of compromise and get over it. The quick fix of undergoing Vedic rituals may work temporarily, but if you don’t recognize how Mars energy manifests in your relationships, no matter how much effort you put into changing the patterns, it won’t solve it. It’s like Bill Murray in the movies. Groundhog DayHe has to realize that he has failed and changed his patterns so many times in his life to finally get the girl.
I would like to especially thank my teachers Komilla Sutton, Hart De Fouw and Robert Svoboda for providing me with insight into some of these issues.
Vedic Astrology and Relationships Part 1 and 2:
This fall while Jupiter is in Taurus, I am offering a 16-week Relationship Class. The first class is free on Saturday, August 10th at 11:30am. Visit the webinar. You can register at this link.
https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/8892376595072799069
Source: ASTRO BLOG Archives – Applied Vedic Astrology – www.appliedvedicastrology.com
