Let’s clear something up now. Feeling like you’re taking up too much space isn’t a character flaw. It’s a learned response. Curvy women are taught early on, and often times, that their bodies are inconvenient, that their presence is noticeable in ways that are worth apologizing for, and that self-confidence requires volume control. But here’s a truth that’s rarely spoken out loud. The discomfort you feel taking up space has nothing to do with your worth or ability to command a room.
Commanding a room isn’t about getting louder, sharper, or more intense. It’s about grounding yourself in the knowledge that you belong exactly where you are. When you stop cringing in response to imagined discomfort, everything changes. Your posture will change. Your voice is steady. Your ideas will land in different directions. Learning how to control a room is less about performance and more about permission, especially the permission you give yourself.
First of all, cancel the apology tour.
Notice how often you say “sorry” even when you haven’t done anything wrong. I’m sorry for letting someone pass you by. Sorry if you need a chair. I’m sorry for what you hear and see. These apologies add up, silently reinforcing the idea that your presence is a burden.
Replacing unnecessary apologies with neutral words, or no words at all, is a small but fundamental act. You don’t have to publicize your body or justify your movements to the world. Entering a space with intention, without comment, is one of the easiest ways to set the tone in a room before speaking.
Notice how people behave when they expect attribution. They use the space provided without negotiation. You can do the same too. There is no need to shrink it.
Dress like the authority you already have
Fashion is not something frivolous. It’s communication. When you dress to disappear, you send a message to yourself and others that you are optional. Clothing that fits, supports, and reflects your energy changes the way you occupy space.
This isn’t about following rules or dressing nice. It’s about dressing with intention. Structure can project authority. Color can reflect confidence. Easy-to-move fabric allows for ease of movement. The key is not to minimize your body, but to match your external presentation with how you want to feel when you dominate the room.
When you feel good about what you’re wearing, you stop adjusting yourself. Stop pulling, hiding, and putting yourself out there. Whether you feel it yet or not, that sense of security reads as confidence.
Say it like you mean it, because you do.
Room command has less to do with volume and everything to do with clarity. If you’ve spent years trying to soften yourself up, your speaking patterns may be more apologetic than you realize. Phrases like I think, may, just, and sorry but quietly take authority away from your ideas.
This doesn’t mean you have to sound formal or aggressive. It means trusting your ideas enough to state them clearly. Your idea doesn’t need qualifiers to be valid. By speaking with purpose and finishing your sentences without backing down, you can quickly establish your presence.
Practice helps. There is a limit to how slow it becomes. A measured pace conveys confidence more effectively than a rushed finish.
Emotional space is a static space.
Learning how to control a room also means holding emotional space. This looks like expressing your needs without over-explaining them. It provides demarcation and comfort without being overly cushioned. Allow the silence to exist without rushing to fill it.
Many of us have been taught to manage the emotional temperature of every room we enter. That level of hyper-awareness is exhausting and unnecessary. Some people may feel uncomfortable if you stop overreacting. That discomfort is not a failure. It’s an adjustment.
Your feelings, reactions, and boundaries deserve the same respect you would give to anyone else. Emotional presence is part of the domination of the room, not a distraction.
Leadership is not about size or sound.
There is a persistent myth that leadership appears to be one-sided. noisy. Lean. There’s no question. Reality tells a different story. The most influential leaders influence space rather than controlling it. It brings clarity, vision, and stability.
You don’t have to overwhelm a room to dominate it. This requires understanding your worth and not diluting it. Leadership may seem like asking the right questions. Make space for others. Name what is being avoided. Your body does not disqualify you from leadership. Your lived experience strengthens it.
Back up your body
Your body speaks before you speak. Posture, eye contact, and stillness convey confidence long before words enter the equation. There’s no need to be dominant. You just have to stop folding into yourself.
Sit firmly in your chair. Please step in. Keep your shoulders relaxed. Please look up. These small adjustments show confidence, even when you’re nervous. Over time, your body will catch up with the confidence you’re practicing.
Research shows that posture influences self-awareness and confidence, and supports the mind-body connection that many of us intuitively feel. Sources such as the American Psychological Association have investigated how physical posture affects emotional states.
Create a receipt without any doubt
Imposter syndrome is a silent epidemic. Let’s fight with evidence. Track wins, feedback, and impact moments. Before you enter a space that makes you feel small, remember why you’re there.
Commanding a room becomes easier when you remember that your presence is earned, not accidental. Confidence is not arrogance. It’s precision.
Stop waiting to be invited
No one will come to give you permission. If you’re waiting to feel ready, qualified, or approved, you’ll be waiting forever. Confidence is built by action, not the other way around.
Start small. Please talk to me once. I’ll take a seat. Please wear something. Each choice strengthens the next. Discomfort does not mean danger. It means growth.
your perspective is an asset
By navigating the world with your curvaceous body, you will learn resilience, adaptability, and empathy. These are leadership skills. Your perspective is not baggage. It’s precious. When you direct a room from a place of authenticity, people respond to the truth in that room.
The room needs voices that understand exclusion to create inclusivity. Your experience matters more than you’ve ever been told.
Your space is not up for discussion
Commanding a room doesn’t mean changing yourself. It is about refusing to bear the shame that has been inflicted on you. Your body doesn’t have that much. Your presence is not excessive. Your voice is not optional.
Please take some space. Please wait. Please expand there. You were never meant to disappear.
What does commanding a room look like for you now?
Source: The Curvy Fashionista – thecurvyfashionista.com
