The joy of self-identification | Eurozine

I want to look like myself, but I don’t know what someone like me will look like. So when people see me, I want them to think, “There’s one of those people who have an interpretation of their own happiness.” That’s me.

Lou Sullivan was born in Milwaukee, USA in 1951 and died in 1991 from AIDS-related complications. His written legacy includes a biography of a transgender man, Jack Be Garland (1869-1936), a diary kept since the 1960s. His journaling, which he intended as an aide when he was older, was published after his death. As one of the first openly gay trans men, Sullivan is also remembered for his support groups he organized, his discussions with experts, and his self-advocacy. In another world, he turns 74 this year. Perhaps he was found hanging out on YouTube with other older gay guys. But in this life he is gone and all we have for him is his writing.

We both laughed with joy This is the 2019 diary of Ellis Martin and Zach Ozma. Their approach involved deleting individual entry dates and editing a significant percentage of diary entries. Instead, the book is divided into years when Sullivan lived in a particular place, focusing on his sexual orientation and gender identity. Some readers live in a society where we are obsessed with genitals when discussing transgender issues, whether it’s a pornographic issue or an invasive question. But I don’t think Martin and Ozma’s focus is without benefits.

AIDS Crisis

Sullivan’s life should be remembered within its historical context. The first case of AIDS, which was initially described as an example of abnormal pneumonia, dates back to July 1981, six months after Ronald Reagan became president of the United States. His response to the epidemic brings much of the responsibility of the vast deaths of the disease, if such a lack of intentional behavior is even called a reaction. Today, HIV+ individuals can live a long, healthy life. Millions of people died around millions at the time. To say that the modern LGBTQIA+ community was shaped by this event is an understatement.

Sullivan approached his diagnosis in the same way as any other event in his life. He was vulnerable, open, rebellious and entertaining about it. “They said at the gender clinic I can’t live as a gay person, but that makes me look like I’ll die as one,” he wrote. Sullivan’s reflection on the end of his life reflected his younger self’s attitude towards the homophobic Heckling.

His AIDS diagnosis was far from the first hurdle of his life. The diary continued him through the deaths of several members of the family, informing him of his final moments.

I think it’s too hard to believe that someone loved me enough to experience it with me… my death could have that importance to someone else. But Dad and Kathleen are very impaired and we have to remember our feelings when we have the love we have and the help we give. I did anything to ease their transition, so I have to believe that people who love me (Maryellen, Kathy, Mom) are there for me too.

What he describes is a close, well organized community. We see how important Sullivan is to his loved ones. Many people volunteer to help him care, and those who already lament him are often well-suited to him for comfort. We also see how important individual members are to the LGBTQIA+ community. The growth section of the annual Pride Parade specializing in disability. Love and solidarity survived both terms of Reagan’s president.

Rejoice, nevertheless

When Sullivan explains sex, that same spirit of rebellion and intimacy is clear. We follow him, group masturbation clubs (a form of safe sex in an age of medical uncertainty), learn different understandings of physical affection, and watch him celebrate the body. He realized that he belonged to gay men early in his life, and wrote in his 20s: “The only crowd I feel relaxed was that Gay X is not 40 years old. He was so logical that I realized that I was building it all in my mind. Why not do that!” Sullivan barely made it in his 40s, but he was surrounded by fellow gay men. His last diary entry explains his future plans – his favorite author was about to give a speech, a friend had promised to take Sullivan there – but he passed away a few days later and the community had to finish his job.

Lou Sullivan dressed in a 1974 GPU drug ball courtesy of Louis Graydon Sullivan Paper Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Historical Association

The major focus of this edition lies in Sullivan’s medical transition. The diary explains the effects of taking testosterone, a mastectomy (also known as upper surgery), and finally describes an early version of the uterine morphoplasty, which was completed several years before his death. Each step brought Sullivan closer to total happiness. He explains his flat chest, muscles, hairy legs and penis, and finally both test circles (left caused him some trouble). Sullivan loved being a man, being gay, and every part of himself that he wanted society to be embarrassed. “A sudden thought: If you decide that being a psychiatrist is no longer a sign of mental disorders, why? want Is being gay very mental? “His response to the confused health care provider was expressed in his unprecedented identity. He refused to lie about his sexual orientation to ease his transition process. He refused to convince him that he was a woman who had reported less hostility towards femininity when women were no longer forced upon him. When he realized the lack of FTM support groups, he started himself.

Medical gatekeeper, new and old

When I read about his medical transition, I was impressed that it seemed almost unchanged. Sullivan navigated the process with the help of fellow transman Steve Daine, who instructed him on who to reach out, what to expect, and how to self-advocate. Medical transition follows two major models when available. Based on informed consent, the first allows anyone to reach out to their healthcare providers, express their interest in the healthcare transition, and be informed of potential risks and expected effects. The person can then decide whether he wants to start the hormones himself or get surgical procedures. Therefore, trans people are treated as professionals of their identity, and healthcare providers support them and educate them about the options available. The second model that appears in Sullivan’s diary, It requires that transgender individuals be fully convinced of cisgender people that they are in fact transgender. Relying on informal networks of trans people, they guide each other towards providers who are familiar with trans people, who they need to talk to, and what order and what order they track (GPs who write our referrals often know little about the process). We teach each other acceptable personal stories to tell psychologists so that experts do not get confused by the overly complicated facts of individual personalities.

This same story unfolds on Sullivan’s Diary pages. Transgender people need to become medical professionals, but those medical professionals cannot demonstrate much of their expertise when it comes to us. The same medical professionals are learning from us, but only under the conditions set, they are asked to fill out a survey from psychologists interested in queer issues, but as they appeared at their doorstep in referrals, they needed 3-4 sessions to determine if I could trust them. By the end of his life, Sullivan was a recognized authority on transgender issues. If he had believed in a professional gatekeeper, he would have died as a misfortuned and forgotten “woman” in a leather jacket.

Courtesy of Lou Sullivan and Louis Greydon Sullivan after mastectomy in the 1980s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Historical Association.

Who is the authority?

A 2024 study by social psychologist Jaime Napier reports on global attitudes towards the trans community, including whether people believe in transgender identity. Participants in this study were asked to evaluate the agreement with the statement that “we cannot have a gender that is truly different to what was considered at birth.” The best agreement with this statement was found in Russia, but the US was not too late. At the very least, it will not cause the next Cold War. The most promising results were reported in Spain, agreeing to the above statement that the number of participants was small. Interestingly, Spain practices informed consent. It’s hard to know which came first, but it’s not surprising that countries where trans people’s authority over their identity are recognized have not struggled to accept that trans people exist.

I did not leave here to summarise Sullivan’s diary. I have everyone read it myself and enjoy the anecdotes of sexual sadomazoism, adolescent Beetlemania, timeless humor, and heart-warming remorse about life and death. Rather, he is keen to defend his preconceived notions about LGBTQIA+ ID. Sullivan is called here as the spirit of relatives, as he himself stated that the goal of his own life is to prove to society that people like him exist.

If not erased, LGBTQIA+ identity tends to turn into pathology, stereotypes and be mercilessly demonized. Sullivan saw this and recognized himself as a gay man and forced the healthcare system to redefine existing categories. The way LGBTQIA+ identities are presented to the world often follow the same narrow, deadly formula, and Sullivan was able to fight this through stubborn self-identification. Focusing on his identity does not reduce him to the label. We’ll try a return view of the label itself.

That’s what this article was like First published by Vox feminae. Translation from Croatian to English is Togethera project that utilizes existing wisdom from community media organizations in six different countries to promote innovative approaches.