Thinking Vs. Feeling: What’s The Big Deal?

Spiritual directors are taught to notice, reflect on, and ask about the emotions their clients are experiencing as they share their stories. As a result, many directors become frustrated and, in the words of their clients, “just can’t get it out of their heads.”

Personally, I think it’s fine for the instructor to stay where they feel safe and comfortable. But I can see what the frustrated directors are trying to say.

thought loop

“I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Everyone has been there, right?

What does it mean to use the unscientific phrase “I can’t get it out of my head”? Don’t thoughts and emotions come from the brain?

I’m not a neuroscientist, so I don’t address the question of where emotions reside in the body. But the way I see it, “preoccupied” refers to over-analyzing a situation. And some of us (perhaps all of us) over-analyze our feelings at the expense of taking the time to think carefully about them.

colorful emotions

Emotions, the tender feelings that enrich our lives, are especially places that move us on a spiritual path. That’s why spiritual directors prefer to be aware of emotions rather than go on and on about analyzing situations.

What a spiritual director tries to do when faced with an overly analytical person is to encourage the person to use other parts of their being.

• Sensations in the body (muscle tension, internal visceral undulations, etc.)
• Emotional qualities (feelings), i.e., “What happens in my mind when I think about this?”
• From analysis to hopes and dreams

Transition from thinking to feeling

There are many ways to do this. The most common suggestions for moving from analysis to impact are:

• Take a moment and focus on what you’re feeling in your body
• Take time to be in the present moment and notice more than just your thoughts
• Take a few moments of silence and rest your mind.
• Go for a walk to “reset” yourself.
• Diary: notice not only your thoughts but also your emotions

Anyone can do this. You don’t need to go to a spiritual director to stop trying to think of yourself out of a problem or situation. However, our spirit tends to function best when we are fully embodied and aware of our emotions, so in spiritual direction the realm of feeling always receives greater attention than the realm of thought.

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