State Over Circumstance: Preface: We’ve Been Here Before

Please tell us about the situation Introduction: We were here before

by Mark Pifer, author of She wants herself

This concept is central to many spiritual and philosophical traditions. Although the individual components of this argument have been investigated individually, this essay aims to present a definitive argument to explain why internal states are far more important than external states to link psychology, science and practical applications.

And, as one of my students appropriately pointed out years ago, the job of a leading expert is Repeat…repeat…

Do this. Because the first time a message doesn’t land. Or the second. Or 50. So try again with the new words, the new angles -. Finally something is clicked.

And if you don’t have all of that repetition, be honest. I’ll get out of work.

Introduction: The Illusion of Control

We spend much of our lives believing that peace, happiness and fulfillment depend on external circumstances. We think we will ultimately feel at ease if we can control our environment, ensure success, and avoid pain. However, no matter how much you manipulate the conditions, the same cycle will be repeated.

But what if the problem is not our situation? What happens when the real problem is us? state– What are the internal relationships?

Imagine two people getting caught in traffic. One time furious at the delay, grab the wheels, and fall into wasted time. The other is to listen to the music, breathe, and embrace the reality of the moment. The situation is the same, but the experience is very different. why? because The situation does not create suffering – our state does.

If this is true, the only real path to peace is to learn to master us state Instead of fighting us infinitely situation.

Psychology: Why do we stick to the situation?

The human mind is wired for survival, not for peace. It was certain that it would always scan for threats and ensure safety by controlling external conditions. This instinct has been useful to our ancestors in dangerous environments, but modern life creates an endless cycle of worry, resistance and dissatisfaction.

Negative bias in the brain:

• We focus on natural potential dangers rather than positive experiences.
• This clings to the illusion that controlling the outside world brings security.

Cognitive distortion strengthens attachment to situations:

• Black and white thinking: “If this situation doesn’t go down my path, everything will be ruined.”
• Emotional reasoning: “I feel anxious, so something must be wrong.”
• Control error: “If I try hard, everything can change the way I want it.”

Control Paradox:

• The more we control the situation, the more helpless we feel.
• The real power is not controlled, Choose how we respond.

Science: Why are we always behind reality?

“Annual movies” effect

(It was originally discussed in my book everywhere here*)*

Imagine watching a movie you’ve already seen. You know exactly what’s coming next, so resisting the plot won’t get lost. Even if a tragic moment unfolds, you can take a step backwards, knowing how it unfolds.

What if we told you that The whole life experience is like that movie– Is everything you perceive already happening by the time you feel it?

The speed of perception creates a delay.

• Light, sound, and touch it takes time to reach your brain.
• Even the electrical impulses of the nervous system travel at finite speeds.
• By the time you register for the event, it has already happened.

You are always responding to the past:

• There are every moment you experience It’s already been deployed Before you realize it.
• I resist what it is I don’t do anything– It’s like trying to change a movie that’s already been filmed.

The only real choice is the state:

• Our only power is, as perception is always behind reality How do you meet at each moment?
• Fighting against the past is a waste. Suspend to those that provide access to actual intelligence.

Instead of resisting the inevitable, like the familiar film audience, you can let go of life and simply witness it as it unfolds.

The futility of taking powerful actions in a helpless situation

Many believe that power comes from control. Control the outcome, force the situation, and project strength. But the real power lies in Adaptability, not control.

Consider three common and useless attempts of power.

Discuss with reality:

• “This shouldn’t happen!”
• But that’s already. Resisting it only adds to the constant facts.

Despairing Strength:

• Trying to manipulate or force the outcome will result in a stronger grip of suffering.
• The strongest person in the room is not the one who fights the most, but the one who can remain. Calm and focus.

Leaders who stick to control instead of adapting:

• History is filled with broken leaders. Because they were clinging to a false sense of control rather than adapting to what was.

Letting go of the illusion of control will not weaken us. It’s more effective.

Practical Applications: Move from Status to State

What can you do if you can’t control the situation? We train the state. Here’s how to do it:

Recognizes the illusion of control.

• listen: What can you actually change? What am I resisting?
• If the course modifications are no longer available, please let it go. If so, adjust it first without resistance. Therefore, your response is clear and effective.

Use your body to shift your mind.

• Breathing, presence and relaxation techniques calm the nervous system.
• A calm body leads to a calm state.

Practice mindfulness and detachment.

• Don’t believe it and pay attention to your thoughts.
• Shift from Problem focus In Presence focus.

It prioritizes the state over the reaction.

• Pause before you react.
• Choose peace beginningthen act.

Suspend to what it is.

• listen: If I stop resisting it, how would this moment feel?
• See what happens when you let go of the fight.

Conclusion

We often believe we are in control, but in reality we are not synchronized with the natural flow of the universe through our perception. Everything we experience is already happening by the time we realise it. The belief that we can shape reality through resistance is an illusion. Our true power is not in fighting with what, but in aligning with what.

Encourage action

If you realize what you are resisting, Pause. Before you react, reorganize it with reality. When we move from acceptance rather than resistance, our actions flow with reality rather than against it. The more you adjust it, the more effective it becomes.

“You’ll let go or be dragged.” – Zen proverb