By Br Duray
Author of Mood swing
Even before my father passed away, I was a sensitive child.
I was interested in the world and how it worked, the invisible and the invisible, and he always encouraged that curiosity. Before going to bed, I ask him, “Can you tell me about angels?” And he will. He continued to do so on about Seraphim, Cherubims, Archangels, Power, Guardian Angels until I fell asleep.
He made the invisible world feel safe. comfort. It’s full of wonders.
Then, when I was ten, he passed away.
He was a US military major and an decorated member of the Delta Force. He was buried in full military honor at Arlington National Cemetery. He was a true American hero, but he too my hero. And so, one man who taught me about my hero, the angel.
Something opened wide into me after his death. My world has turned dark and grey. It made me feel all the more enlarged. The highs were very high, while the lows were catastrophically low. Sadness and anxiety were constant for what seemed eternal, I remember thinking: This is exactly what life is like now? My sadness counselor eventually named it: Blue.
Still, I finally got through it. I found my balance again. I led me blue, the angel on earth, my mother, because someone was walking by me.
She was sad too. She lost her partner, her co-pilot, the love of her life. But even with her heartbreak, she found a way to help me feel safe, stable and watched. I am 30 now – 20 years have passed since my father passed away – and now I can talk to my mother not only as her son, but as someone who better understands the enormity of what she carried. I asked her what she learned from guiding me and guiding me while she carried her sorrows.
This is what I came to believe from my experience and from seeing how my mother navigated both grace and motherhood.
beginningshe never avoided talking about my father. In fact, she made sure we talked about him frequently. He drew the story, showed me photos and home videos, and helped me create a photo album of his life. She continued to live his memory not as a source of sorrow, but as an existence of love.
Number 2she made sure I was surrounded by people who loved me, especially the first tough milestones. We also created new memories: new holiday traditions, travel and community experiences. She showed me that it is still possible to celebrate the past while building the future.
There were also practical things. I got my phone early so I can call her anytime. She knew that, as the sadness counselor told her, the fear of losing a surviving parent was normal. She stayed in close contact during the day, reassuring me through rituals at night: reading together, talking openly, watching a happy show Spongebob or friend together.
She also met with my teacher and my friend’s parents, kept them informed of what I was going through, and secured a support system that extended beyond our homes.
And when I needed it, she brought me to counseling. One of my first therapists introduced me to a biofeedback computer program that helped me with anxiety. The idea that emotions live in our bodies and that healing can occur in waves throughout our lifetime has been with me ever since.
Above all, she led her with a quiet faith. prayer. Ritual. She kept the spiritual waterway open even if she had no words of pain. And that faith gave shape to the invisible people: angels, my father, to the idea that we are not truly alone.
What I noticed was that I was surrounded by angels. My mom, my angel site, guide me, strengthen me, encourage me, protect me. And my father, my angel, is watching over me.
When we lose someone physically, we often get something powerful mentally. I can still feel with him. Sometimes it takes courage, strength, or comfort. He is never far.
In summary, there are some takeaways here from both my mother and me (mother and son who lost their husband and father).
- Grief counseling is important. Professional support helped us both name and process our emotions, especially during the early and misplaced months.
- First holidays and milestones are the most difficult. We have created new traditions to remain surrounded by love and continue to connect with joy.
- It’s soothing to talk about someone you’ve lost. We never buried his name. The stories, photos and videos kept him alive in our hearts.
- Consistency and security can help relieve children’s anxiety. Frequent check-in, practical tools like mobile phones, and reliable routines have helped me feel safe.
- Sadness does not exist isolated. My mother confirmed that my teachers, friends and community members understood and supported me.
- Faith has given us a language for the invisible person. Angels, prayers, and spiritual beings helped to give form to formless sorrow.
Inspired by these experiences, I wrote Mood swinga picture book about navigating the ups and downs of sadness, for children and families who feel something big that cannot be named, and for those whose friends need to say, “I felt this too.” It reminds us that sadness is not the end of the story. That love lasts longer than loss. Those angels still hover, even when we can’t always see them.
The story is dedicated to my mother, my earthly angel. My angel on earth lifted me up from the quicksand.
Source: Spiritual Media Blog – www.spiritualmediablog.com
