Excerpt from “My Name is the Wilderness: Healing, Growth, and Reflections from My First Four decades of Life,” Wilderness Dawn Cowan
“I recently learned how much freedom I have to let go. Understand, analyze, understand something, try to find the ‘ans’. I feel this slowly, but now I’m landing differently. It has landed on a more internally-built plane. I understood this at an analysis level.
But these things are always layers, so I sincerely hope that what I think I understand now will evolve into a different meaning in five, ten, twenty years. Maybe I’ll write another book. Then while I write this, I’ll discount anything I thought I knew now. I certainly hope so. If not, what are you doing here?
There is the sweet essence of hitting the felt sensation of the mind, the belly, or the solar plexus, and trusting the wisdom here. Instead of trying to make it different, just be with something just something, and be curious. I release my judgment and meaning, and feel the kind knowledge that lives here.
When we approach the realm of our bodies, realizing that we know we will lose opportunities for newness. The opportunities for growth, change and change live only in this moment and in this moment. The choices you make in this moment are the only way to change the next moment. Can you challenge yourself to see every day, or every moment, just like it’s your first time? Can you also allow this to the people around you? Do you choose to see yourself and others through the eyes of love and release what you think you know?
I recently found myself crying, integrating things that aren’t Newfound. It feels like a massive exit for stagnant energy and deep surrender. It feels like a slippery allowing you to release what you think is in control. You realize that what you thought was grabbing you is an illusion you created. I remember that I can always make another choice and change the outcome of the next moment. It is faith to know that each small moment is what creates your new reality.
When your reality is not what you want, you know this is difficult to hear, and you feel confident that you will never choose it. But it may not be your fault, but know that you are not the victim of your situation and that they will change. If you don’t feel that it’s accessible, then you don’t need to change your mind.
Sometimes this harmony with emotions gets in the way of a gentle balance of self-compassion and the choice not to hold back by your own obstruction. A bullshit story that keeps you hostage. You think you are, but in reality, you are blended with mere habits and patterns to make them look like personality or beliefs. The fear that you feel real, but actually interfere with your true experience. It may also avoid deep and vulnerable relationships because it may seem valid, but it feels safer to distance yourself than trusting others. Do you really not find love, or do you fear love, as you create a world that you can’t control?
We may be very attached to these patterns and we may not even recognize ourselves without them. We may believe that they form our identity. The most important thing we can do is get out of our own way. Even in these feelings of trying to convince you that you are not, do you know that you are okay? Crushing anxiety and stinging knee pain – where is it okay even among them? At one point, asking yourself, “What is this belief that I actually serve me?” benefits you.
If you seek the truth, at some point you will let go of the old story. You will release the rule of your trauma that is constricting you. Know that you can maintain your pain without worshiping the past and not worshiping it too much. There are times when your survival was dependent on these strategies, and sometimes they don’t, and you can release them affectionately. You can stop indulging them and learn that you can choose where your ideas go. ”
Author’s Bio
Wilderness is a life coach, yoga instructor and writer who explores themes of healing, self-confidence and inner transformation through poetry and personal reflection. She believes in the power of storytelling, creates connections, induces growth, and reminds us of the quiet strength within each of us.
A lifelong seeker, Wilderness is a heart-centered explorer for the invisible person. She believes in the healing power of integrity, creativity and the courage it really takes to meet herself. Her work is a weave of emotions, insights and spirit, providing readers with the senses they see and accompany their own path.
When she isn’t writing, Wilderness enjoys time in nature. Learn new ways to hike, yoga, and to deepen your connections between herself and the world around her. You can now find the wilderness on Instagram @WildernessDawn.
Source: Spiritual Media Blog – www.spiritualmediablog.com
