Excerpt from love knows no death
Adam Rizvi, MD
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Death is not the end. Continued. The fears we carry about our own mortality are based on misconceptions so deep that they affect every aspect of our lives. And facing that fear is the key to experiencing true life. As a critical care physician, I have had the privilege and blessing of being present at the deathbed of hundreds of people. I have witnessed many sacred and often shocking deaths. In our nation’s sterile intensive care units (ICUs), I have watched many people die in fear and pain. On the other hand, I have also seen people die with gentle foreheads and gentle smiles.
What is it that empowers those who are able to embrace the great mystery we call death with such grace and those who cannot? These experiences and questions are part of an ongoing journey. For me, it started with existential questions as a young adult. Later, it led to a deep conviction about the continuity of life. Now I have seen enough to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that death is just a stopover on the vast journey of awakening.
About a month before writing this, I spent time with a patient a few days before his death. His name was Joshua. He was in his 60s and had stage 4 lung cancer, which had spread throughout his body.
Quick note: Many of the dying patients I see in the hospital are on life support. You may have a massive brain hemorrhage, a major stroke, or you may lose consciousness for some medical reason. So when I’m with someone who is close to death but is conscious and able to talk, I see it as a rare opportunity to connect deeply. It is a great gift to have a moment of clarity of consciousness before death, to be awake, aware, and able to communicate. It is a gift to the person who dies and the others in the room. In such a situation, each person has time to prepare emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.
Joshua was one such patient. He had days left to live and was wide awake and fully aware of it. In addition to the metastatic cancer, he also suffered from kidney failure. Potassium rises when the kidneys fail and dialysis is no longer used. This disrupts the heart’s electrical system and causes the heart to stop. Joshua decided not to undergo dialysis. He knew that he was dying and calmly and courageously resolved to carry out his terms.
I remember that conversation. I was in his intensive care unit with the curtains drawn. His wife Rosie was sitting to my right. Joshua was in the hospital bed to my left. I was explaining the intricacies of potassium and telling him what would happen over the next few days. He and his wife nodded thoughtfully and were deeply involved in the conversation. Interestingly, this conversation stood out from many others I’ve had. As we talked, I felt the air become lighter, instead of the usual fear. It may sound strange, but in that room I saw a man at peace with himself and the world. I smiled with respect and gratitude. He knew he was dying, his wife knew he was dying, and they both faced it with grace.
My heart soared when I saw that. Witnessing such compassionate courage is moving and empowering. I saw two people openly talking about the fact that he would die in a few days. They talked about their children. They wanted to make sure their son was okay and their daughter was doing her homework. Rosie asked what she wanted for her children’s future. He then asked about her wishes and visions.
I looked at this back and forth and thought: This is amazing. i love this. Rosie leans over and holds his hand and says, “I’m going to miss you so much,” and Joshua begins to cry.
At that moment, my heart expanded. I distinctly remember thinking that. Let’s face death bravely like these two, let’s face death as a gift..
Once you overcome the belief that you are weak and fragile, you will begin to value yourself even more. You realize that you are eternal. You will enjoy the peace that nothing can hurt you. Nothing can destroy your essence because your essence is love.
The moments of transition from one “life” to another that I witnessed in the ICU are priceless. Allowing yourself to be present with your emotions and feelings in moments like these can be a beautiful way to honor yourself and everyone in the room.
To his credit, Joshua looked at me and said, “You know what? “Teacher, I’m really scared.”
I said, “Well, I’d put myself in your shoes. It’s a big unknown.”
His one-word response was simple, but it betrayed deep consideration and thought. “Yeah.” He asked after a moment, glancing across, “How many times have we had this conversation?”
“I don’t know. There’s been quite a few over the years. They’re always different.”
He joked, “You’d make a good priest.” I took the compliment, because I think he meant it.
Doctors help the most vulnerable, including priests, rabbis, and imams. We deal with difficult things in life. This moment with Joshua and his wife was memorable. It was rare because they faced death with honor. A beautiful exchange was born. I saw it and was a part of it too.
What if we could face death with such courage, vulnerability, and honesty? What if we knew that the other side was not complete oblivion, but continuity? What if there was a larger spiritual context, something that gave meaning to the so-called final moments of our earthly lives? What if we harnessed the fear surrounding death for truly meaningful spiritual growth?
These questions arise daily as we face one death at a time in the hospital. How will this shift in perspective change the way we approach death as a society? How can we prepare?
My own spiritual journey and these questions have led me to reconsider how I relate to death, dying, and terminal illness. I wanted to know how to prepare for death. I wanted to know how best to respond to those around me who were transitioning. I instinctively felt that there must be a powerful way to accompany dying people and help them not only at the moment of death, but also immediately after death. life goes on. I had my own experience that suggested something similar.
Still, I was just beginning to explore how to help people in transition. I felt that we could all help each other, no matter which side of the veil we were on. We needed to understand the larger context in which death plays its role.
Then I asked myself: What if my patients were willing to listen to hear this deeper aspect of death? What if they were willing to understand this larger spiritual context?The question I always had was, “What would patients say about death if they would listen?” What would I say to my friends and family about how I am applying my own spiritual learning to the great unknown we call death? And what can I do now to best prepare for my own death?
love knows no death It was born as an answer to these questions. This work is inspired by the grace of the spirit within all my teachers, my friends, and all that goes by various names.
love knows no death That may happen, but it doesn’t change the sadness. It’s not about overcoming the pain of loss, but it can happen. It turns out that it’s not just a flawed health system or fear of death and disease. This book is about awakening. It’s about playing a game that uses death, illness, change, and loss as a catalyst to awaken to your true nature.
Finally, this is a book about love. More specifically, it is about removing blocks to love, the awareness of your true nature. This is a book for you, patients and their families, doctors, nurses, and more. This book is for people who have the courage to face death and want to learn about death. It is for those who intuitively feel a greater spiritual context for this whole thing called life. It is for those who have experienced the pain of loss or the shock of a diagnosis of a terminal illness. It is for those who have felt the intensity of life’s suffering and felt that there must be another way, a path to inner peace that will never go away.
Let’s take a moment and consider the following questions. How do you feel when you think about death? What have you been taught about death? Do you believe you are only your body? What if death was not an end but a transition? What if life was a journey of awakening and so-called “death” was part of that process? What if you didn’t have to suffer, but could truly rest in peace and live life fully and joyfully?
I will share stories of the many deaths I have witnessed and the lessons I have learned from them. I provide a simple guide to how to approach death from a broader spiritual perspective, and share tools and insights I’ve gained that I can use in my daily life. We recommend that you choose what feels right to you and only use what you think will be most useful.
The journey I have been on at home and in intensive care units across the country has completely changed the way I see the world. It took me from darkness to light. The lessons I learned helped me move from fear to love and to a deep and lasting peace. This book invites me to join you on this journey of seeing death not as a feared enemy, but as part of the classroom, a lesson that can deepen your understanding of who you are. You can choose to view major life changes like death as a path to spiritual awakening and peace.
This book is all about settling into and feeling this unwavering inner peace. Are you ready to see death, and by extension, life, in a radically new way? Are you ready to feel this unwavering peace? All you need is a little willingness. And there’s no better time than now to start.
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love knows no death This book is a powerful exploration of death, drawn from the lived experiences of intensive care physicians. Combining patient and family stories with the spiritual insights of A Course in Miracles, this book shows how forgiveness can transform grief and anxiety into peace while confronting the fear of death and illness. Death is not an end, but an invitation to awakening, an opportunity to release the illusion of separation and rediscover the permanence of love.
With clarity and compassion, Dr. Rizvi guides readers through the fantasies of suffering and fear, offering practical exercises in forgiveness along with deep metaphysical insights. Written for those facing illness, caregivers, spiritual seekers, and anyone grieving a loved one, this book offers more than just comfort, it offers a path to inner freedom. love knows no death is a roadmap for transforming life’s most difficult moments into healing, awakening, and entry into the unchanging truth of love.
Love Knows No Death: A Miraculous Story of Death, Dying, and True Forgiveness Written by Adam Rizvi, MD, available wherever books are sold.
Book link: https://amzn.to/3JFNLIU
Source: Spiritual Media Blog – www.spiritualmediablog.com
