Reaching your true self: Navigating your transformation journey with courage and compassion Written by Alicia M. Rodriguez
“Sometimes everything is
it must be so
carved on the side
heaven
so you can find
one line
already written
inside you. ”
from JourneyDavid White
I’ve always loved this poem, and to be honest, I love almost every poem David White has written. As a coach, I work with people who are discovering themselves anew. This research is an intimate and sensitive undertaking. Mr. White wrote that he was looking for “a line already written within…”
Most people don’t recognize that line. Some people don’t even know this line exists. They do not know that there may be an essence to their being that is not yet fully revealed. These people may accept their life as it is and feel satisfied and comfortable. They won’t feel like there’s more to it than that. For them, there may be nothing more available than what is currently available.
And some people wake up one morning confused, disoriented, and unsure of who they are or what they are doing on this earth. When you look in the mirror, you no longer recognize the face staring back at you. Even though their lives seem rich and fulfilling at first glance, they begin to feel a sense of emptiness and a strange longing. This anxiety is the beginning of a new journey, which requires courage and honesty. Faced with all the evidence, this person challenges the status quo. Her community told her that she should be grateful for everything she has, that there’s no reason to “rock the boat,” that life is difficult, that she should do the best she can with what she has, and that I would say that’s right. But that nagging feeling persists, and eventually sleepless nights lead to an undeniable longing for an unknown life on unexplored roads.
This change is a transformative initiative. It takes a coach, a guide, a mentor, whatever you want to call it, someone who has done deep work on themselves. If you don’t have a lantern, you can’t lead people down a dark path. How to work with individuals during such life transitions requires a deep respect for the journey of others and a basis for witnessing unpredictable developments.
Coaches are trained in technique, self-awareness, and coaching frameworks. But the soul knows nothing about frameworks. When working with people in deep transitions, coaches need to be mindful of their own biases, beliefs, and assumptions. We must become a blank canvas for our clients to map their future. Our job is to ask fundamental questions, not obvious questions. Our job is to listen beyond words and use our intuition and senses to explore the story our client tells us, perhaps not her story at all, but the myths she has come to believe.
When I work with people who are going through some sort of life transition, I find that what’s really at stake is their ego identity. Based on this identity, clients have created lives that provide them with self-worth and self-respect. Her ego will resist any attempt to usurp the throne and will fight if she feels threatened. The only way to move beyond your current identity is to engage your ego in an open dialogue and invite it to work with your mind to create a different future.
People talk about letting go and leaving behind things, relationships, and ways of doing things. The moment they talk about letting something go, they have a firmer grip on what they may need to let go of. I’d like to use a different metaphor. When we think of life as dynamic and constantly moving, like a river of water, we become aware of the flow and think of flowing with it rather than against it. It’s about going with the flow rather than letting something go. The river will take you whether you resist or not. It is empowering to understand that your life is in movement and that you have the power to create your life in alignment with that movement. When you align with your essential self, you experience less stress and clear purpose and meaning.
Some people call it “finding your purpose.” Most people ask themselves what their purpose is. I think that’s the wrong question. Finding your purpose is the result of discovering your true nature and creating a life that fully expresses that creative spirit. When you truly know who you are, your purpose in life doesn’t matter. It’s displayed so you can see it right away.
The role of the coach is to witness the development of a new way of being for the client. It may not result in a change in job, location, spouse, or friends, but it can also result in those consequences. Our goal is not to judge, but to have a conversation with our clients and provide compassion and safety for deeper personal exploration that can ultimately move their lives forward. This is truly the work of the soul.
Parker Palmer writes that in order for the soul to emerge, safety must be provided. in his book Let your life speak: Listen to your calling. “Before you can tell us what you want to do with your life, you must listen to the voice of life that tells you who you are,” he writes. The role of the coach is to be a conduit for the client to listen to their authentic voice, get to know who they are in the present moment, and align with that truth.
It’s easy to call this transition coaching, but it’s much deeper than finding purpose or navigating life changes. Our job is to provide a safe environment and support for our clients to begin a deeper exploration, perhaps an existential exploration, into who they essentially are and how to bring out their beautiful being. .
If successful, we will meet you at the door when you arrive. David White concludes his poem with this:
“Sometimes together
black bones
A stick remains when the fire ignites.
went out
someone wrote
something new
In the ashes of your life.
You are not leaving.
Even now, when the light is rapidly disappearing,
you are arriving. ”
Bio:
Alicia M. Rodriguez is a published author, storyteller, slow-life evangelist, and personal growth catalyst. She works with people who are passionate about making great strides in their lives. Alicia is passionate about writing, Portugal, strong coffee, her dog Sophie, courageous conversations, and meaningful work from the heart. As a published author and spiritual woman, she nurtures her creativity and soul in the beauty of the Algarve. her memoir, shaman’s wifepublished in fall 2024.
For more information about Alicia M. Rodriguez, please visit: www.alicimarodriguez.com Or connect with Alicia via Instagram https://www.instagram.com/msaliciamrodriguez/.
Source: Spiritual Media Blog – www.spiritualmediablog.com
